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[Eric Blank]

Granted, but you are required to spend December doing absolutely nothing.

I wish for warmth and joy for all.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Everyone receives an assortment of opioids and a free teleport into the sun.

I wish for dancing teeth.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you are required to spend December doing absolutely nothing.

(Works for me *kicks back in one month's time*)

Granted. Everyone receives an assortment of opioids and a free teleport into the sun.

I wish for dancing teeth.

Granted, the worms within your teeth develop to such a point they can do this, before absconding with said teeth and most of your gums.

I wish for laundry.

[Andres]

Granted. It actually belongs to a mob boss whose laundry you accidentally stole. Woops!

I wish for juice.

[jefam99]

granted, you receive jesus juice

I wish i could live my life happily without expenses

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you are a jellyfish.

I wish to live my life happily without expenses will remaining a being possessed of reason and sapience.

[lemon10]

Granted. You are possessed by a demon, and life a short but happy life, wherin you maintain your reason and sentience. Sadly, the terrible monstrous things you do while possessed send you straight to hell afterwards, for an eternity of endless suffering.

I wish that Gordon Ramsay was a giant talking ram (as in the sheep, not a battering ram).

[Aseaheru]

Granted. He starts useing humans in food instead of sheep, and chooses you.

I wish I had more grapefruit to peal and eat like an orange.

[Andres]

Granted. You are taken to court for lack of racism. Treating grapefruits like oranges? That's disgusting!

I wish for manly musk.

[Tawa]

Granted. You get a manly muskox, which brutally kills you.

I wish for a d10,000,000 so I can determine whether or not somebody is pregnant and/or crush Indiana Jones.

[Andres]

Granted. It crushes a pregnant Indiana Jones.

I wish for red roses and blue violets.

[Ultimuh]

Grante, they are on your grave.
And we can quickly remedy your "not dead yet" status.

I wish for a quick and painless way to remedy his "not dead yet" status.

[Audioworm333]

Granted. It's used on you instead.

I wish I knew what to wish for without wasting a wish.

[nomoetoe]

Granted You found out what you wanted, and wished for it. Then you got what you wanted, but you lost what you had.

I wish for a game in which you build up your army to fight a lich and his undead army, slowly fighting back the undead as your army grows, shrinks, dies and winks.

[Stirk]

Granted, unfortunately it is made by the same guy who made FATAL. People only play it to see how bad it is.

I wish that any aliens who find Earth must immediately bow down to humans and listen to whatever we say, incapable of harming us in any way.