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[Stirk]

Granted. In fact, nobody feels anything any more. Ever again.

I wish to take over North Korea.

[Tawa]

Granted, everybody is now angry.

Granted. All the North Koreans are angry at you and kill you with pitchforks.

I wish to cast LOVE SPELL.

[TD1]

Granted. You cast something that teaches you how to spell love.

I wish the everything in the Bible was historical truth.

[Tawa]

Granted, you goddamned (tee hee) monster. Do you realize how many people DIE in that thing?

Oh, and one of them was abruptly renamed Th4DwArfY1.

I wish that I could fly.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you can do the fly. You are hit by a swat.

I wish Tawarochir was turned into a pillar of salt.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You yourself are also turned into a pillar of salt.

I wish for the ability to punch people into next week (and do not care about recoil at all).

[flabort]

Granted. The recoil that you don't care about sends you into last year, but this ability also comes with the cost of wearing away at all your muscles to the point that within three uses your arms both fall off and your legs can't support your (very very reduced) weight.

I wish for a sequel or remake of Dark Wizard, on a modern console like the WiiU.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. All of the copies are unwinnable by mistake and segfault somewhat unpredictably.

WISHCORE: I wish for a bushel or 35 liters of fair d4s, d6s, d8s, d10s, d12s, and d20s...

WISHMORE: ...of uniform distribution of types, made of good ABS, with a total mass of at least fifteen (15) kilograms, with readable, Arabic numerals, with transmittances below 50% for the more translucent ones, with sharp, un-tumbled edges, with fairness accounting for the indentations or paint used for the numbers, with no individual die accounting for either less than 0.00001% of the total mass of the dice or more than 0.001% of the total mass of the dice, to be delivered at an accessible spot near myself with an average density of less than 300kg/m³, outside any multicellular organism's body, with no relative velocity from my reference frame, with a center of mass with an elevation below that of my head, without any non-die contaminants excluding air, without any other objects delivered along with the dice, without any effects occurring to myself or any other human, without any wish-granter-based effects occurring in a sphere centered on the solar system barycenter out to ten (10) light years, with a lifetime (if dice can be said to have lifetimes) based on reasonable use above a decade (10 Earth years), delivered at no cost, monetarily, energetically, or otherwise, and without any transactions involving souls or other intangible human components.

[Lenglon]

WISHCORE: I wish for a bushel or 35 liters of fair d4s, d6s, d8s, d10s, d12s, and d20s...

WISHMORE: ...of uniform distribution of types, made of good ABS, with a total mass of at least fifteen (15) kilograms, with readable, Arabic numerals, with transmittances below 50% for the more translucent ones, with sharp, un-tumbled edges, with fairness accounting for the indentations or paint used for the numbers, with no individual die accounting for either less than 0.00001% of the total mass of the dice or more than 0.001% of the total mass of the dice, to be delivered at an accessible spot near myself with an average density of less than 300kg/m³, outside any multicellular organism's body, with no relative velocity from my reference frame, with a center of mass with an elevation below that of my head, without any non-die contaminants excluding air, without any other objects delivered along with the dice, without any effects occurring to myself or any other human, without any wish-granter-based effects occurring in a sphere centered on the solar system barycenter out to ten (10) light years, with a lifetime (if dice can be said to have lifetimes) based on reasonable use above a decade (10 Earth years), delivered at no cost, monetarily, energetically, or otherwise, and without any transactions involving souls or other intangible human components.

((very nice try, but you made one tiny mistake))

...with sharp ... edges...

Granted, they have monofiliment-sharp edges and materialize, in groups of ten spaced one second apart from each other, just below your chin. immediately upon arrival, gravity takes hold, and they fall down upon your chest, leaving bloody gashes all long it in their wake. as set after set after set after set of dice tumble down on and around you, shifting their materialization spot to block you from running, from moving, and continuing to fall upon your shoulders, your back, anything with any open space between them and the altitude of your head, and ever so slowly reducing you to nothing more than a mound of flesh in a pool of monofiliment caltrop dice and blood. you die screaming.

I wish I could turn people into small furry animals of my choice.

[flabort]

Granted. While you can choose the animal they turn into, changing them is involuntary, and because they were humans before, they are invariably hostile towards you for doing this to them. Within a week your entire town is turned into small critters with a vendetta against you.

I wish for a winnable sequel or remake of Dark Wizard on a modern console such as the WiiU, that cannot segfault or crash, and doesn't have any bugs in any way shape or form, that gets higher ratings by both professional reviewers and the vast majority of gamers than the original game; and that it run smoothly with little or no loading times or lag, and that transitions between menus be quick and painlessly smooth.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you have to import it from Antarctica at $2100 per copy.

I wish my dog wasn't so dumb.

[jaxy15]

Granted. It becomes omniscient. It leads a massive canine revolution and eventually all of humanity falls. The world is then ruled by dogs.

I wish for the ability to punch anyone I want in the face through their computer screens.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Everyone else gains the ability to stab people through their computer screens with only images of knives.

I wish to have a staring contest with a gorgon.

[Noel.se]

Granted. You bet a million dollars on winning a starring contest against the international starring champion known as "Gorgon". You loose.

I wish i had a pen.

[blazing glory]

Granted,half of it is inside your leg.

I wish for a fresh batch of RtDs.