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[Lyeos]

Granted. You're stolen away by Kevak, who takes you to an amusement park, then out to dinner theatre, and an Opera! And then, he takes you home and starts cuddling with you and stabbing you and breaking your bones with a sickening crunch and bathes in a fountain of your blood and harvests your organs to sell and then uses your skull as a soup bowl! You got stolen.

I wish that was a bit more detailed.

[nomoetoe]

Granted. You're stolen away by Kevak, who takes you to an amusement park, then out to dinner theatre, and an Opera! And then, he takes you home and starts cuddling with you and stabbing you and breaking your bones with a sickening crunch and bathes in a fountain of your blood and harvests your organs to sell and then uses your skull as a soup bowl! You got stolen.

(I'm going to add this to my collection )

[hops]

Granted. It is so detailed that you die of old age before it is finished.

I wish I can make a character on an RTD without having a breakdown.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You die instantly

I wish for promotion over Kamek for defeating Mario and Luigi (from Private Goomp)

[Lyeos]

Granted, but, I misunderstand 'defeating' and assume you mean they hit you with their feet. As you die when they jump on you, suddenly, you have a heart attack.

I wish Objective would elaborate more on specifically what part of character creation causes his breakdown.

[hops]

Granted. It's because every time he sees a non-minimalistic RTD it's already full, and he never gets out of the waitlist because the GM inevitably abandon them.

I wish I don't need to sleep.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
it's the fact that they play shitty games.

I wish to defeat Mario and Luigi ( both of them run out of hit points or Hp(and I'm not a dying and seriously hurt the battle)) and get the well deserved promotion (from Corporal Paraplonk)

[Lyeos]

Granted, you defeat them and get a promotion. However, they had a 1UP, and come back for you with a vengeance. All that your family finds of you is a single, shattered tooth.

I wish everybody would cheer up.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
the Kitten bites,You die.........

Granted, you defeat them and get a promotion. However, they had a 1UP, and come back for you with a vengeance. All that your family finds of you is a single, shattered tooth.

Koopa Paratroopas do not have teeth.

I wish to defeat Mario and Luigi ( both of them run out of hit points or Hp(and 1ups and life's)(and I'm not a dying and seriously hurt the battle))(I am going to destroy the corpse and the soul to be sure) and get the well deserved promotion (I this wish for it to happen and I am competent enough to do my new position extremely well). (from Sergeant Guy)

[Tawa]

Granted. However, your absurd number of parenthesis bring them back from the dead as ghosts, who haunt you FOREVER.

I wish I could remember where my DnD rulebooks were.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you remember that you ate all of them.

I wish Objective, Kevak, Tawarochir, nomoetoe, Th4DwArfY1 (Or however you capitalize it), CMC, Scotsmen, Worldmaster27, and Toady One were all super happy and motivated.

[Tawa]

Granted. We are motivated to become political activists for life on Pluto. As there is none, we remain a coalition for things that aren't real until our deaths.

I wish I could remember why I ate my DnD rulebooks and why eating them has not led to my death.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The special paper they use in the rulebooks is extra tasty and, as it turns out, you're already dead.

I wish all my opinions were facts.

[TD1]

((You got the caps! Huzzah! Have a badge. Also, it's exam season. I'm procrastinating my future away, so no, no motivation.))

Granted. You remember you ate them because you were starving in the North Pole. You then realise you are actually dead. Congrats, mister ghost Taw!
Granted. You are of the opinion that your opinions are useless, and are never facts.

I wish I wasn't procrastinating.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you can only ever state actual facts, without any form of bias. You can also never lie.

Granted, you get so much done that you've lived your entire life! Your funeral is tomorrow.

I wish the house the players in Worldmasted27's RtD are staying in would burn down while the characters are sleeping, killing them all. Especially Niru.