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[Lyeos]

Granted, for some reason you think my character sheet is super beautiful and decided to use it. :3

Granted. For your heresy, you shall burn.

I wish I could think up a good description, dang it.

[Shoruke]

Granted, but it is a description of something you would never actually need or even want to describe.

I wish for a promotion?

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You get a promotion? to D-Class personal.

I wish for more character sheets.

[Lyeos]

GRANTED! You get more sheets from people that gave up, just like me!

I wish for strobe lights.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted. Everyone on Earth goes blind.

I wish people would realize I am a girl, and start using the correct pronouns.

[Lyeos]

Granted! We all know, and we're sorry, miss/ma'am/young lady. However...As a general rule to maintain safe on the internet, everyone who hasn't checked your profile or participated in this thread refuses to believe you're female, no matter what you do!

I wish for the doom song.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. I will use the correct pronouns, ma'am! No one else will, however.
Granted. The song dooms your soul to the void for all eternity.

I wish for interest in my game.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, cue typical internet misogynist joke.
Granted. WARNING: once the doom song commences, you will be unable to remove your headphones for the duration! Please ensure you have adequate supplies within reach before pressing play.
Granted, I'll check on it in 3 weeks.

I wish for the motivation to finish the last paragraph of my paper

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. My cats will tear you limb from limb and eat your still beating heart unless you complete the final paragraph in the next 20 minutes.

I wish for realistic video games.

[~Neri]

Granted. I will use the correct pronouns, ma'am! No one else will, however.
Granted. The song dooms your soul to the void for all eternity.

I wish for interest in my game.

Granted, but only if you allow Traps.

Granted. My cats will tear you limb from limb and eat your still beating heart unless you complete the final paragraph in the next 20 minutes.

I wish for realistic video games.

Granted, welcome to life.

I wish for something interesting to do.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted. You die.

I wish for fluffy bunnies and raaaaaaaaaainbowwwwssss

[blazing glory]

Granted,foxes then eat your fluffy bunnies and start riding your rainbows.

I wish people would race on the rainbows like they do in Mario kart.

[Lyeos]

Granted, it works until they realize it makes no sense, then all of your friends, and Kevak, plummet to their deaths. 

I wish to be the most amazing person ever when I become an old man.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. At the age of sixty, all the governments of the world start a war for control of you. The concluding peace treaty decrees that you shall be cut into little bits, distributed evenly among the surviving nations. The Scottish Empire decides this is too communist and destroys the world.

I wish for my fucking bum sibling and the stupid bitch he brought home to get lost and stop asking for my money.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, because they take it all and run.

I wish that I had infinite, unrestricted wishes, free of any negative effects.