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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You are a mook guarding a prison with some friend mooks. Nothing bad will happen here, right?

I wish Tawarcohir had to begin every sentence with 'MERICAAA!!

[hops]

Granted. His patriotism make him transcend the mortal plane into the Ultra Sam, and he proceeds to unmake you.

I wish I didn't forget to return my 3 days due library book.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you remember you're supposed to, but can't be bothered.

I wish for Divine Evil Fire to rain down on my foes.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, the Divine Evil Fire rains down on your enemies..turning them into fire imps while your in the same room with all of them.

I wish for someone to massage my knobby knees.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Unfortunately, the Chaotic Evil fire turns out to be Evil Stupid. It kills everyone that it looks at.
Granted. The Chaotic Stupid player massages them, then cuts your legs off entirely from the knee down.

I wish to always be Lawful Neutral.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You follow the laws, then along comes a Chaotic Neutral dude that kills you in your sleep for your money.

I wish everybody would do the twist.

[hops]

Granted. Everybody breaks their spines and die.

I wish that I know what to wish for.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, you find out what you want to wish for but then a wild candle appears!

I wish for a bowl of peas with some extra cheese.

[Prophet]

Granted. You wish for your own death.

I wish that everyone was a trap. Edit:Ninjaed.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you find out what you want to wish for but then a wild candle appears!

I wish for a bowl of peas with some extra cheese.

Granted, the genie hears you incorrectly and gives you cheese floating in a bowl of urine.

Granted. You wish for your own death.

I wish that everyone was a trap.

Granted, we're all mine turtles.

I wish for a very large, very friendly octopus to hug all of you.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You now know the perfect wish that will grant you everything you desire.
Granted. Tasteless synthetic food looks a lot like real food, doesn't it.
Granted. You die from the large amount of bear traps everywhere.
Granted. You get depressed as you missed out on an awesome hug.

I wish for a 3D printer.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted, you get a printer, in 3D.

I wish for Dwarves. Lots of DWARVES.

[blazing glory]

Granted,they all track forgotten beast dust into your house,they promptly die after leaving you to deal with 50 dead dwarves and forgotten beast dust.

I wish for bees and wasps and everything nasty with stingers to not exist.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Everything beautiful in nature dies due to a lack of pollination.

I wish for beautiful things.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted. Blazing suddenly explodes. Half the earth is gone.

I wish for more, less corrupt wishes.