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[nomoetoe]

Granted. Yours is: During a particular time travel experiment, you and everyone you know are teleported into 1942 Nazi Germany, wearing the clothes of that period. The authorities mistake you for Jews, and throw you into a labor camp. Most of your family dies soon after, but one good friend remains unbroken. In a feat of true strength, he tries to lead a rebellion against the guards. It is utterly crushed, and he is captured. The following day he is brought out into the mess hall and brutally beaten to death in front of everyone. Then, the guards proclaim that he is your reward for that rebellion. Eat up. You are forced to watch multiple people fight over and kill each other for a chance to eat your friend. You descend into melancholy soon after. You spend the next year in a stupor, but you remember eating the last of the people who came with you back in time. About a month after, you are gassed with an experimental air-borne poison, meant to be excruciatingly painful before releasing the victim into death. It worked, and you suffer through the worst pain of your life before slipping away into the cold of the void.

(So beautiful  c': )

[Worldmaster27]

((I imagined if I read that out loud, fire would begin to rise behind me until it became an all-devouring inferno at the end. I know what I'm doing for next year's talent show!))

[Lyeos]

Granted, you get live kittens made of chocolate. They're super delicious, so you cannot stop yourself from eating them, but they still have normal organs... And, as you digest them, their bones snap and stab through your insides, killing you. Hooray!

I wish Worldmaster27 would write a detailed death for me.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
But most is just saying you died to an dragon.

I wish to be the center of an black hole.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. You are a wormhole. Like an a**hole of a worm. That's disgusting.

I wish I could get my mind out of the gutter.

[Worldmaster27]

Spoiler: Dear Lyeos, I am a horrible person. (click to show/hide)

Granted. One summer, you are cursed. You pass it off as an old woman's superstition, but things seem to keep getting worse for you. First, your girlfriend reveals she was cheating on you and dumps you. Nearly an hour after that while you're trying to cheer yourself up at a local ice cream parlor, you get a call. It's a paramedic. She says that your family has been in a horrific car accident with a large truck from a major corporation. Everyone but your father died, and the paramedic gives her regrets to you. You cry and head to the crash site. When you get there, your father has been stabilized and is move around but not yet speak. Somehow, you know he won't ever recover from this. Days later, once funeral preparation have been made, you get a call from the corporation who owned the truck that crashed into your family's car. After a bit of sad fluff, the representative cuts to the point. The company is suing your family for the damages to the truck, and for the driver's medical bills. They have one of the world's best lawyers at their disposal, and they inform you that the court date is set for the same day as the funeral and cannot be changed. Forced to accept, you lose the battle and most of what you have left goes to your father's medical bills and therapy sessions. Eventually, you get addicted to that one shop's ice cream, and rely on it to drown your worries in. However the shop has to be closed due to safety violation and you enter severe sugar withdrawal. One day, when the withdrawal symptoms seem to be lessening and you are going to a friend's place, you get in a car accident. With a truck from that same corporation. In the same location as your family's original car crash. You do not survive, having been pierced right next to the heart by a piece of sharpnel from the collision. Your death is long, painful, and the symptoms kick up again right before you die.

Granted. You get it out of a gutter and into a sawmill.

I wish I wasn't such a horrible person.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you made my biological father die instead of live. Seriously, fuck that guy. You also freed me from my mother and stepdad's oppressively controlling attitudes - and from having to pay for the damn guy's drug tests he has to take every month now - and allowed me to live on my own in my grandparents' spare house. Seriously, thanks!

I wish I was a better person.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You found my story appalling.

I wish my story had an impact on Lyeos.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. He gets hit by a truck.

I wish for you to do mine, make it sci-fi.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Far into the future your reincarnation is living the dream. At least until humanity made first contact with a race of GWGs. From there, the logically superior Wyrms crushed all human existence with superior stubbornness, rationality, and by pointing out everything wrong with the humans' plans. You were one of the few captured and thrown into an intergalactic zoo. Many years after your imprisonment, an animal hate group breaks into zoo, killing everyone. Execept for you. Having survived, the head GWG, GreatWyrmGold, orders your execution as "You were never one of the cute humans." They kill you with a logic overdose. It is immensely annoying and hard to listen too.

I wish I wasn't getting a reputation for granting people their deaths.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you failed to realize that we don't listen to logic, and instead simply nuke the GWGs out of existence, along with you. Your reputation is that of dying.

I wish I was a really good candle.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You never get a reputation at all.
Granted. Your life expectancy is 100 hours from now.

I wish to transcend humanity, AND NOT IN THE KEVAK WAY SO HELP ME I WILL KILL YOU.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You transcend humanity in the Objective way.

I wish HugoLuman was a trap.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Anyone who gets within 5 feet of me without warning is struck with poison darts.

I wish to stop leapfrogging.

[ComputerWarrior]

Granted. Anyone who gets within 5 feet of me without warning is struck with poison darts.

I wish to stop leapfrogging.

Granted. You are now skipping the same distance, instead of leaping.

I wish that I had a dog. One that won't bite me, or harm me for that matter.