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[WillowLuman]

Granted, imagine if a non-illustrated person had what his avatar does.

I really wish I hadn't lodged ice cubes in various places to keep myself awake.

[~Neri]

Granted, you instead lodged them all in one spot, up your bum.

Iii wish I didn't just make that corruption...

[WillowLuman]

Spoiler: too much information (click to show/hide)

REALLY DONT READ THIS_{One did wind up in that area. So wasn't really a corruption.}

One day you will learn that uni can be a desperate and pitiful place.

I wish this goddamn rough draft was finished.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, it's utter shit.
((protip, make your friends lie to you about the draft date
protip 2, make your friends force you into doing your work; tazers optional))

I wish I could do whatever I wanted, absolutely no consequences.

[jaxy15]

Granted. Everyone can now do whatever they want to you as well, without consequences.

I wish for a throne made from skulls.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are forever stuck in a low-budget 80's fantasy movie. You relive the movie's plot infinite times and are repeatedly killed by the hero.

I wish I was one of the guys in Lord of the Flies who don't die.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You now suffer from severe PTSD, because you couldn't handle the stress like the main protagonist did.

I wish I was this guy.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You now know how to edit videos.

I wish I had the perfect keyboard and mouse

[jaxy15]

Granted. You get a piano and a rodent.

I wish for mosquitoes. Everywhere.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You detest buzzing noises, and quickly die. Your body is eaten by the mosquitoes.

I wish I could show you why they call me rrrrrevolver.

[Shoruke]

Granted. A video is made depicting you spinning and growling a lot, and casts you in a negative light. Basically the video makes you look like an idiot.

I wish for mini-pastries! (with fruit filling and cream cheese!)

[Tawa]

Granted! The "fruit" is green jello and the cheese is from a stray cat.

I wish I had somebody to show my take on the "your mom" joke to.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The police are ready to hear it, as you have been arrested.

I wish I knew what Tawarochir's joke was.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, its so bad that you smack your head against the wall until you crack  your head open causing blood to ooze out of your head while your brain is then exposed and destroyed upon the final smack.

I wish for disturbing extremely detailed descriptions of various deaths for all the members of the bay12 forum.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Yours is: During a particular time travel experiment, you and everyone you know are teleported into 1942 Nazi Germany, wearing the clothes of that period. The authorities mistake you for Jews, and throw you into a labor camp. Most of your family dies soon after, but one good friend remains unbroken. In a feat of true strength, he tries to lead a rebellion against the guards. It is utterly crushed, and he is captured. The following day he is brought out into the mess hall and brutally beaten to death in front of everyone. Then, the guards proclaim that he is your reward for that rebellion. Eat up. You are forced to watch multiple people fight over and kill each other for a chance to eat your friend. You descend into melancholy soon after. You spend the next year in a stupor, but you remember eating the last of the people who came with you back in time. About a month after, you are gassed with an experimental air-borne poison, meant to be excruciatingly painful before releasing the victim into death. It worked, and you suffer through the worst pain of your life before slipping away into the cold of the void.

I wish for chocolate and kittens.