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[nomoetoe]

Granted, the internet is now where people go when they die.

I wish that men cowered at the power of my pinky.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. In fear of it, they eliminate it. By cutting it off and shoving it down your throat.

I wish schools didn't teach poetry as it is a matter of opinion, not a matter of facts that you can teach.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, the internet is now where people go when they die.

Can I just say this is an awesome premise for a story and someone should totally write this down?

Granted. In fear of it, they eliminate it. By cutting it off and shoving it down your throat.

I wish schools didn't teach poetry as it is a matter of opinion, not a matter of facts that you can teach.

Granted, an entire generation grows up believing art doesn't matter and only cold, hard cash does.

I wish to ninja whoever is lambasting me for not making a wish

[nomoetoe]

Granted, I am ninja'd but in my rage I start up a whole new line of certain banned wishes.

I wish for my thumb to be number 1 on every list.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, including list of fingers jammed in your back-orifices.

I wish for good foods.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Your thumb is #1 on every hit-list in the known universe. Good luck.
Granted. McDonalds is good, right?

I wish I had more of the lore done for my ultimate game I am planning.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but you realize that it doesn't add up.

I wish I had an amazing map done for the game set in a crapsack world that I'm planning.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, when the game is almost finished the amazing map had been mysteriously deleted and you had no backups.

I wish for dirty brown acid rain.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Unfortunately, the state of the map reflects your opinion of the world.
Granted. It pollutes your water supply and kills everyone you know and love. Then you die a slow, poisoned death.

I wish to be able to write high-quality lore for no downside whatsoever.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Since you posted it to the internet it gets immediately stolen and copyrighted.

I wish for audiobooks of all my texts.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You get a playback of all your texts whenever your friends are around. All of them.

I wish Google spied on everyone, and everyone benefited from it.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, they do they "benefit" everyone in the way they believe is right by sharing everyone's information with the government/zeh pro hackers.

I wish for nothing deleterious to happen when I try to do something adventageous to the redolent talisman.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Deleterious things happen when you do anything else with it.

I wish nomoetoe was using proper grammar.

[nomoetoe]

granted, I was until the certain wish ban happened.

I wish for for everyone to realize that my grammar is SUPERIOR TO THEIRS.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Grammar Nazis kill you for your foolishness.

I wish everyone was a grammar Nazi.