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[nomoetoe]

Granted, your flowers are self sustaining and now grow and reproduce at a ridiculous rate quickly covering the entire earth and eventually growing till its mass grows too great and becomes a black hole.

I wish for tirek to spread across all of the internet, before slowly becoming part of the real world eventually turning everything into tirek.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Reality collapses as it is converted into Tirek.

I wish to know everything with absolutely no side effects.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You know everything about Pocatello, Idaho.

I wish for new shoes.

[JackOSpades]

 The Devil grants your wish for new shoes, they only cost you your Sole. while they look fantastic they unfortunately offer no protection from the ground at all as the bottom of the shoe is just your bare foot.

That corruption was so bad I think I'll need to be Punished for it, so I wish for you to do your wurst.

[Tawa]

Granted. From now on, behave yourshelf.

I wish for better puns.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You now find that all puns are now very gouda.

I wish I could come up with better puns.

[IronTomato]

Granted. What a n-egg-ative thing to say. Your puns are fine.

I wish my school made us read better books.

[Lyeos]

Granted. What a n-egg-ative thing to say. Your puns are fine.

I wish my school made us read better books.

Granted. You are forced to read The (entire) Divine Comedy, Paradise Lost, the entire Wheel of Time series, and the entire The Black Company series. You have a test in which you must provide the names of every character in each of them.

I wish for less wishes than Kevak, but more than Worldmaster.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. In doing the math to find out how much that is, I accidentally divide by zero.

I wish I didn't divide by zero.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Wanting to know what would have happened if you divided by zero tortures you for the rest of your life.

I wish for less wishes.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You're not allowed on this thread anymore.

I wish my left eye didn't feel like some sort of worm-like monster was trying to force it's way out of it.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It feels like an elephant stepped on it instead.

I wish I was Sasori no Akasuna.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Unfortunately, Sasori is fictional, and so you are too. You no longer actually exist.

I wish I had the power to bring things from my imagination into real life at will.

[TD1]

Granted. Your imagination conjures forth a beautiful wife. Unfortunately, she has no brains whatsoever. One could think of her as an empty shell.

One wishes everyone would say one instead of I.

[Worldmaster27]

Sorry, you already spent your one wishes.

I wish I owned Google!