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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You a cheesemaker dorf. For !!SCIENCE!!

I wish I was subjected to !!SCIENCE!! on a daily basis.

[Erils]

(http://www.homeonthestrange.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=95&sid=1b0d01e1cd22fd0cc0c0087551d03c9e
Forums dedicated to making un-jackassable wishes)

(Bay12 Corrupt a wish)
Thread dedicated to jacking aforementioned wishes.

I wish I was subjected to !!SCIENCE!! on a daily basis.

Granted. You are subjected to !!SCIENCE!! only once.
It kills you

EDIT: Sorry forgot wish

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Reality ceases to exist.

I wish for unicorns.

[Tawa]

Granted. They are disguised horse mafiosi.

I wish I was my drunken 87-year-old sorcerer Galan.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Just after you become him, he dies of a combination of old age and liver failure.

I wish there was world peace!

[Noel.se]

Granted. Your greatest fears materialize in front of you. It ends very badly.

I wish for granola bars.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You get enough granola bars to crush the planet. It ends badly.

I wish for Pokemon that don't kill humans.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Everyone become enraptured with Pikachu's cuteness. They cannot move or think, and they all die of thirst.

I wish I couldn't die, unless I said so, and I felt no pain.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You still feel all effects of not eating,drinking,sleeping etc. Did I mention that you cannot do any of those things anymore?

I wish I was a Pikachu.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are caught and forced to breed with a Ditto for a trainer who wants a 6 IV Raichu. Afterwards, you are permanently left in the PC.

I wish for a butter knife.

[~Neri]

You get a butter knife, sadly it is so rusty that it not only breaks after use, but gives you a rather unpleasant disease.

I wish that everybody had a fascination with snails and toast.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Everyone thinks snails on toast is the bestest meal ever. A snail-borne disease cripples the world.

I wish there was no disease.

[TD1]

Granted. Disease is eradicated. Populations increase exponentially. We all die from hunger.

I wish that fish were gods.

[Tawa]

Granted. One is a milkfish named Abe. Everyone confuses Abraham Lincoln with the Milkfish God and eventually history is rewritten so that after Abraham Lincoln's assassination, he is reborn as Abe the Milkfish God.

I wish for a swiss army knife that stays sharp forever and does not cut me.

[wer6]

Granted, however, everytime you use it, it cuts someone. Randomly, Anywhere.

anywhere.

I wish my wrist did not just suddenly cut them selves.