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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Bay12 rips itself in half over who is more dwarfy.

Granted. Someone throws it into your eyes, blinding you for the rest of your life.

I wish everyone was shorter than me.

[TD1]

Granted. You become just slightly taller than the tallest man, using only what you originally had to create your new height.

I wish stars shone more brightly that the sun (Or that much closer star, in other words)

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. All other stars in the universe multiply in power by 10x. You are now responsible for the eradication of all other sentient alien life. Sicko.

I wish the world knew about Dwarf Fortress.

[Tawa]

Granted. Toady is killed by a mob of mixed city-building/rougelike fanatics.

I wish for a Kit-Kat.

[WillowLuman]

(Yeah, because DF doesn't have art museum exhibits about it already or anything...)

Granted. It's unbreakable.

I wish for a Reeses

[Tawa]

Granted. You get the crappy cereal.

I wish for a book titled "C++ For Dummies".

[Lyeos]

Granted. It teaches you how to always get 79.9999 as your grade in any and all classes.

I wish I could force anyone I wanted to get on the forums at any time I wanted.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You accidentally kill your favorite GM because you never let him sleep, only update.

I wish I had some frozen yogurt.

[Tawa]

Granted. As pathogens are single-celled organisms and were likely our ancestors at one point or another, you were never around to make the wish and the wish was never made.

I wish for a toy car that you start by pulling a string.

(Not posting this as a wish or anything, just pointing out a major flaw in this fulfilment)
Pathogens are things that cause disease.
Also, single celled organisms aren't all diseases.
Not all diseases are caused single celled organisms, either.

I'm saying that at least one kind pathogen probably logically played into the creation of humans at some point.

Granted. You accidentally kill your favorite GM because you never let him sleep, only update.

I wish I had some frozen yogurt.

Granted. Your frozen yogurt melts.

I wish for a universal language that eradicates all other languages and is also known by all sentient life-forms.

[RAM]

I wish for a book titled "C++ For Dummies".

It contains a dull account of an overly complex and largely useless rating system for baby chew toys...

I wish I had some frozen yogurt.

You get a solid chunk of fermented milk repeatedly imposed into your head by a large, irate, physical manifestation of the letter 'h'...

The sentient land-forms fear the sudden increase in cooperative ability and promptly eat all life.

I wish for a doomsday device and the means to communicate directly with all world leaders...

P.S.
 Pretty much anything will cause a disease if it is in the wrong place at the wrong time...

[Tawa]

_   _
.    .
 ___

You just recorrupted two wishes.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. As pathogens are single-celled organisms and were likely our ancestors at one point or another, you were never around to make the wish and the wish was never made.

I wish for a toy car that you start by pulling a string.

(Not posting this as a wish or anything, just pointing out a major flaw in this fulfilment)
Pathogens are things that cause disease.
Also, single celled organisms aren't all diseases.
Not all diseases are caused single celled organisms, either.

I'm saying that at least one kind pathogen probably logically played into the creation of humans at some point.

Granted. You accidentally kill your favorite GM because you never let him sleep, only update.

I wish I had some frozen yogurt.

Granted. Your frozen yogurt melts.

I wish for a universal language that eradicates all other languages and is also known by all sentient life-forms.

Granted. It is made entirely of insults, causing every race to war against each other, while simultaneously fighting 1 or more civil wars.

I wish I was Ash.

[TD1]

Granted. You are burned to ash.

I wish I had a button that caused people to do my will.

[Lyeos]

Granted. At the push of a button, you die, and people do what is stated in your will.

I wish Kevak would provide some input on what's currently happening in The Warrens of Oric the Awesome.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Whenever you press that button, your Will will take effect. You accidentally press it, and are left with nothing.

Granted. Kevak provides input, calling you all idiots for doing something that isn't trap related.

I wish I would live 38.9164816491756136590175... seconds longer.