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[JackOSpades]

Granted, they are all remakes of Solitaire.

I wish for games to be made based upon The Video Game Name Generator http://videogamena.me/ 

[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted, the game "impossible makeout factory" (actual name from the generator) is created. You have to make out with gross things like dog shit and the feet of an old chinese man. The game lets you taste and smell everything.

I wish i stopped coughing like a pregnant manatee.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You start coughing like a pregnant elephant instead.

I wish I had chakra.

[Tawa]

Granted. You lose all but one of your chakras, leaving you with chakra, and promptly die of metaphysospiritual instability.

I wish I had infinite Fridays.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted. You wont have weekends anymore, making friday a horrible day.


I wish i stopped coughing

like a pregnant elephant

[Lyeos]

Granted. You start vomiting up baby sharks instead. Did I mention that you also get cancer?

I wish I had a little more patience.

[Tawa]

Granted. However, while you wait, Randall Munroe kills you for your cancer joke.

I wish for a new watch.

[Shoruke]

A bunch of women (each named Patience) appear in the air above you and then fall, crushing you to death. (whether you die happy from that is up to you I guess, but it'd hurt a lot...) ninja'd

Granted. Unbeknownst to you, the watch is filled with high explosives, and you are killed as soon as you touch it.

I wish for MOAR WISHES~

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. They can only be used to summon bombs 1 second away from exploding.

I wish I was Logic.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. You are now a concept and incapable of thought.

I wish to know what insane yet prolific Internet memes will come in 2020.

[Tawa]

Granted. They are so insane your mere 2014 mortal body cannot handle them.

I wish for a really really really big gun, to match my Teddy Roosevelt advice.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Your gun is useless because you can't move it, aim it, or manufacture ammunition for it. Also, the police confiscate it and imprison you. They also have no idea what they're going to do with a gun that big, so they pretend it's an enormous steel chimney and park it outside an abandoned factory.

I wish I had someone to snuggle with. :c

[~Neri]

Granted, it is a Trap. Your sexuality is being questioned.

I wish that everybody had cat ears and tails.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Everyone is cat. Animal control on a cosmic level is called in. Everyone is in pound.

I wish Dark Souls II would run properly on my laptop.

[Tawa]

Granted. However, your laptop is directly underneath Toady, who is highly volatile at the moment and will explode at the slightest touch.

I wish for DF 2014 tomorrow, which isn't highly improbable at the moment.