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[SOLDIER First]

Granted.
You do not have to leave anymore, as you are dead.

I wish that I knew how to successfully and quickly install the Aether mod and the BDCraft texture pack that goes along with it.

[Proto105]

Granted, it installs within 5 seconds of clicking the button, but everytime you run it it automatically de-installs.

I wish the power to timetravel

[Playergamer]

Granted. You start by traveling back to prehistoric- I AM A STEGOSAURUS.

I wish to win the lottery and get money.

(easy one for you guys)

[darkpaladin109]

You rig the lottery to win. You are arrested by the police and sentenced to death.

I wish that aliens would find earth.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Their star-sized ship smashes our tiny planet against the windshield, as we were too small for their scanners. The apocalypse went unnoticed to the giant aliens.

[Playergamer]

I wish you had made a wish.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted, the wish was to kill you painlessly, however it became the most painful thing imaginable without making you insane.

I wish for evil turtles to take over the earth.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it takes them thousands of years.

I wish for something that rhymes with wish, that isn't a fish.

[Playergamer]

Granted. Ah, yes, Kibish, the sound a guillotine makes.

I wish for Hugo to have a fish.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it replaces my arm, and now my limb is slanted; you've done me harm, and now my goodwill is recanted.

I swear revenge, and I shall have it. It will never end; forever more, I wish for you to have the rhyming habit.

[tahujdt]

Granted, but it takes them thousands of years.

I wish for something that rhymes with wish, that isn't a fish.

If you want a rhyme for wish, then rhymes I now shall dish.
Your intentions I'll vanquish, though that may seem brutish.
To abolish your wish, you are now Amish.
Your computer you must squish, since you feel most peevish.
This rhyme I feel was a swish, and now my wish is for fish.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted, its as shark that bites your head off.


I wish I was eating cheese its.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You must eat them while cheesing it, though.

[flame99]

I wish that you made a wish for a fish while about to undergo the aforementioned "kibish", then with a swish your corpse was chopped and served with a fish for a noble's dish.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted, I say, but much different this time!
You are the noble, and his head you shall eat!
Now listen to me, and this seussery rhyme:
I wish for us now to all drop a beat!

But this is not over, not even close.
For you see, the conditions are such:
Seussy, I think, must be your prose!
And that, I believe, is a nice touch.