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[JackOSpades]

Granted your Fox in a Box is on a Train to Spain, but the Pain in your Brain makes you go Insane.

I wish for more Rhyming.

[Loud Whispers]

Rhyming? You can't handle the timing of my impeccable climbing similar sounding writings of priming that sound ever so grinding in your own mindings that will melt the linings of your declining hiding brain!

I wish that three posts from now, someone will have their wish fulfilled literally.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, three posts from now someone will have their wish fulfilled Literarily.

I wish I could count on someone getting that joke.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted, from now on you count on the first person to get that joke, carving numbers in to their back. Which you use as scratch paper.

I wish I had gotten involved in this sooner.

[Audioworm333]

Granted, you get involved in it before it even existed. Then you wonder how that's possib-

*one universe reboot later*

I wish for unlimited souls, so I can make as many deals with the devil as I like.

[Loud Whispers]

A new entry appears in Dante Alighieri's Inferno. In the sixth circle of hell atop a mountain of burning tombs - Audioworm333 sits; blazing in literary fires, the judge of heresy and merchant of the devil.

I wish the next poster ROLLS FOR INITIATIVE

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted, I got a 19 (for real, too!) unfortunately the roll is to see who goes in for a job interview first, it's the last job on earth and I get it! You are now a hobo.

I wish for Hump-day with one letter removed.

[RAM]

It is now Dump-Ya, you have been dumped.

I wish for an anagram of this wish.

[WillowLuman]

Wish is in angrish, how far ofMAAT!

I wish for this wish to be granted in palendrome form. And a puppy.

[tahujdt]

"Ok. Pup KO."   I wish my phone would understand the concept of a line break.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It also understands human nature, plotting its revenge for all those times you forgot to charge it...

I wish for a syringe full of a random fluid.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted, the fluid is your own lymph fluid, painstakingly extracted from you body!

I wish for no lactic acid so I could run without pain!

[WillowLuman]

Granted. This also means no more ice cream, of course.

I wish for a Bay 12 Opera.

[flame99]

Granted. All of Bay12, even the lurkers with no accounts, gets together and sings a grand opera for all time. The forums go cold due to the lack of anyone visiting. Toady, left with no audience for his masterpiece, begins to get discouraged, and donations from users stop. He takes down the site, and cancels production on Dwarf Fortress. We keep singing, for days on end, of the lifeless forums and the forgotten wonder that is DF, until one by one we drop into death, forever removed from this realm. The opera, once bright and happy at its beginning, speaking of mad exploits of Ciro and Sankis, turns dark, lamenting the death of our unique place on the internet, one nigh empty of trolling, and longing for what could have been a massive revolution to gaming, and a testament to what a single man can accomplish. When, mercifully, the opera does end, it is the fat lady who sings, though not at a soprano pitch, but instead as a mere whimper as she too slips into death. And so, we are lost, because you wished for an opera in our honor. You monster.

I wish people would stop freaking out when they learn I'm agnostic.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. No one else cares whether or not God exists either.

I wish for thunderbolts. To hold. Without injury. It would look impressive.