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[WillowLuman]

Granted. Make sure not to keep it longer than the 5-day rental, though, because our repo men are not to be messed with.

I wish those 80 pounds of lemons I gathered from my back yard 2 weeks ago hadn't gone to waste.

[Remuthra]

Combustible lemons! I just burned down your house!

[Harbingerjm]

Granted. You were a trace of its existance.

I wish Cave Johnson was alive and joined this board 

[Empiricist]

He's alive, but he's still terminally ill. Immediately after he joins the board, he dies.
I wish that every location has the same timezone.

[Remuthra]

Granted. You were a trace of its existance.

What's existence?

[Chink]

Granted. This doesn't really affect anything, as the Earth still rotates about the sun, and spins on its own axis.

I wish Calvin and Hobbes existed in the real world, and were posters on this board, most notable for running their own forum version of Calvinball.

[Playergamer]

Granted. Calvin and Hobbes are the two most powerful people in the world, and mirror what they do in the thread. First rule is "10 points for destroying the world!"

I wish for world peace.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, Mars and Earth are at peace with each other.

[Cheesecake]

I wish for a wish to do...

[wer6]

Granted, its so horrible that you shoot your self do to the utter boredom of doing A very boring wish

I wish for A endless well to kick Messengers down.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. They decompose into the bedrock, making room for more corpses and fouling your groundwater.

I wish I could stay longer at this awesome hotel.

[RAM]

You now own the hotel, which is in debt. The customers are constantly destroying things, complain constantly, and getting them to pay is like herding cats. The staff all hate you, demand higher wages, better conditions, lower hours, go on strike at the drop of a hat, spend most of the time standing around socialising, endlessly raid company supplies, and keep trying to trick you into hiring their slightly more inept friends...

I wish for a good world.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Granted. It is well made in all respects. Sadly, it is on a collision course with our bad one.

I wish for a blind fish.

[RAM]

You get a hat.

I wish for the power to make hair stand on end.

[My Name is Immaterial]

You have a range of one inch, and are completely bald.

I wish, once again, in the hopes that someone will get the joke, for a blind fish.