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[Ross Vernal]

Granted. You are in a river with a school of hungry piranhas.

Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be, 'cause if I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, everyone would be in love with me!

[My Name is Immaterial]

You are eaten in under three seconds.

I wish for a fsh. With no i.

[RAM]

You are punctured, the air escapes with a fsh, so you cease to have an I...

I wish to reanimated by a bolt of lightning.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, enjoy your new supervillain career. This of course entails being beaten to a bloody pulp every Saturday morning.

I wish for fun times with weapons.

[Cheesecake]

Granted. You have too much fun with weapons, and in nine months time a baby pistol appears at your porch.

I wish that mosquitoes would stop biting me.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are a depraved fish.

I wish these Roc eggs would hatch, giving me several Roc chicks (tame).

[MikaTheCrazy]

Granted, you now have some rocs. Unfortunately they are also rocks. Enjoy your new statues.

I wish for an extra wish which can be used outside this forum thread.

[Playergamer]

Granted. This forum thread technically only exists in the internet, so you have to use it, INSIDE, the internet. Sorry buddy, you can't be inside the internet.

I wish I were a fish, that wouldn't end up on a dish, since I want life to matter more, then just ending up in a platter store.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are a depraved fish.

I wish to fix all glitches.

[Playergamer]

Granted. Just before your wish is granted, all glitches become "bugs"

I wish that the moon was made of macaroni and cheese.

[IronTomato]

Granted. I eat it, there is no moon now.

I wish for a dispenser - put it here.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Its down here, not there.
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\ /
A dispenser.

I wish for a moon that is not a space station.

[timferius]

Its down here, not there.
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\ /
A dispenser.

I wish for a moon that is not a space station.

Granted, you now produce enough of a gravity field that sufficently small items begin to orbit you. Sorry about the jokes.

I wish for a fully operational space station, with heavily protected and impenitrable exhaust ports.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The exhaust builds up on the inside until it explodes, killing everyone on board.

I wish for an indestructible, perfectly livable space station.

[breadman]

Granted.  You live the rest of your life alone inside your perfectly sealed, completely indestructible space station, with nothing but hydroponics to eat.

I wish for the ability to live outside of time.