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[Lenglon]

Granted.
(seriously, stop making this so easy!)

I wish I had a bright blue buggy full of bubble-wrap bags of baby bumble bees.

[RAM]

Yes, that works, the causing the stupidest thing possible without corruption is, by definition, the stupidest thing possible, and it is also a sort of of disappointing way to grant the wish, which in turns makes it a corruption...

The insects overheat, the containers melt, and the vehicle gets incinerated.

I wish that I had destroyed that Volks-wagen with some sort of industrial death-ray.

[WillowLuman]

Yes, that works, the causing the stupidest thing possible without corruption is, by definition, the stupidest thing possible, and it is also a sort of of disappointing way to grant the wish, which in turns makes it a corruption...

The insects overheat, the containers melt, and the vehicle gets incinerated.

I wish that I had destroyed that Volks-wagen with some sort of industrial death-ray.

Granted, the tesla-coil-powered Volkswagen is no more, nothing is left of the prototype but dust.

I wish for ninja tableware throwing skills.

[Lenglon]

Granted, Reality is updated, you used an industrial death-ray on the volkswagon. the death ray exploded, destroying the entire surrounding area, including you, and the volkswagon.
Warning - while you were typing a new reply has been posted. You may wish to review your post.
darn it, um...

Granted, you have a moderate throwing arm for tableware owned by ninjas, nothing too special, but not bad. now then, the ninjas are here, and they appear to be mad with you.

and I actually was pointing out that there is nothing stupider than nothing, kinda by definition.

I wish that whoever posts after me would open my box o' rage onto themselves.

I wish I had a bottle filled with ALL THE HATE, ALL OF IT!

Granted, here is a box.  All the hate created up until this point is there, just don't look inside it . . .

[Cheesecake]

Granted. Unfortunately I couldn't find the password.

I wish I wouldn't lose things.

[RAM]

Granted, Reality is updated, you used an industrial death-ray on the volkswagon. the death ray exploded, destroying the entire surrounding area, including you, and the volkswagon.
Warning - while you were typing a new reply has been posted. You may wish to review your post.
darn it, um...

Granted, you have a moderate throwing arm for tableware owned by ninjas, nothing too special, but not bad. now then, the ninjas are here, and they appear to be mad with you.

and I actually was pointing out that there is nothing stupider than nothing, kinda by definition.

I wish that whoever posts after me would open my box o' rage onto themselves.

I wish I had a bottle filled with ALL THE HATE, ALL OF IT!

Granted, here is a box.  All the hate created up until this point is there, just don't look inside it . . .

I become an internet blogger and post a lot of comments on youtube...

You never lose anything again, your constant successes cause you to become egotistical and impatient. Everyone who knows you comes to hate you, causing paranoia to set in. You retreat into solitude to constantly rant to yourself about how superior you are and how nobody else understands your genius...

I wish to [after dying in my previous wish] still be a ghost, with a ghost of my death-ray, and the ghost of the tesla-coil based power system, and a plan in place to use Doctor Frankenstein's device to resurrect all of us.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Five words. Peasants with torches and pitchforks.

I wish I had a higher WPM.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, your Wombats Per Movement has increased to 45 from 0. Though how all those live wombats got in your colon, no one can say.

I wish for an accordion.

[Catsup]

Your new accordion is perfect, but is booby trapped and lets out a deafening screech that causes you to go deaf and never be able to hear music again.

i wish an apocalypse of some kind would destroy the world.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. All engaging activity becomes impossible everyone is bored to death. It takes 31 years.

I wish to become a deaf musical genius, playing the accordion.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Granted. Your genius truly rests in your mastery of the kazoo.

I want to be the best kazoo player there ever was, and have a kazoo.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but first you have to kill me in a kazoo duel the usurp my title.

I wish for an awesome illustration of the resulting battle, somewhere that everyone can see it's glory.

[RAM]

Granted. All engaging activity becomes impossible everyone is bored to death. It takes 31 years.

I wish to become a deaf musical genius, playing the accordion.

You turn your back for a moment and, oh no, you now have three more accordions...

Granted. Your genius truly rests in your mastery of the kazoo.

I want to be the best kazoo player there ever was, and have a kazoo.

You are indeed the best kazoo player ever, with your own personalised kazoo, but you still aren't very good, and nobody wants to listen to you, not even yourself...

It is a very impressive piece of abstract art, too bad nobody knows of its significance...

RAM wishes for a lolcat with which to disable the angry mob.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but first you must stop granting wishes which have already been granted.

The "lolcat," an image summoned from the darkest depths of FA, immobilizes the mob with its explicit content. Unfortunately, you see it too.

I wish for a wish and a wish for wishing wishes with.

[Komra]

Granted for granting and granting for granting grants with.

I wish for recursion.