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[Demdemeh]

Granted. Unfortunately, you take on the intellect, instincts, and memories as well.

I wish to be able to communicate with perfect clarity and charisma with all life forms.

[Ameablable]

Granted but you can only say one 5 word phrase with perfect clarity and charisma. Choose that phrase wisely.

I wish i had 20/20 vision.

[Remuthra]

Thou hast acquired ye twenty mystic visors! Step forth and claim thine hundred plastic gold pieces!

People used less fragments.

[jaccarmac]

No one ever says or writes anything again.

I wish to be a great LEGO artiste.

[Demdemeh]

You consider yourself to be amazing at designing with LEGOs. Everyone else finds you too pompous to speak to, however, and you die in obscurity.

I wish to be fluent in every language that has ever, is, or will ever exist.

[Ameablable]

edit, i granted lego wish by accident instead at first so heres the actual one above mine.: granted but your tounge falls out


i wish i could walk through walls so i don't walk into doors by accident.

[Demdemeh]

You are now intangible on the horizontal plane. This eliminates your ability to interact with anything that is not above or below you.

I wish to be fluent in every language that has ever, is, or will ever exist.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you are now aware of all the mean things every non-English speaker in the universe is constantly saying about you.

I wish for a story in a fictional setting but not following the fantasty model: a story like fiction set in the real world, driven by the pressures of humanity and socioeconomy, and not by war against a supernatural force. A Dickensian or Shakespearean kind of work but not set in the real world or an alternate history.

[Lenglon]

I wish for a story in a fictional setting but not following the fantasty model: a story like fiction set in the real world, driven by the pressures of humanity and socioeconomy, and not by war against a supernatural force. A Dickensian or Shakespearean kind of work but not set in the real world or an alternate history.

...

a story like fiction set in the real world

or Shakespearean kind of work but not set in the real world or an alternate history

set in the real world

not set in the real world

Granted, however its paradoxical presence destroys the universe.

I wish for a Winged Flying Eternally Glowing Lamppost of Glory.

[WillowLuman]

I wish for a story in a fictional setting but not following the fantasty model: a story like fiction set in the real world, driven by the pressures of humanity and socioeconomy, and not by war against a supernatural force. A Dickensian or Shakespearean kind of work but not set in the real world or an alternate history.

...

a story like fiction set in the real world

or Shakespearean kind of work but not set in the real world or an alternate history

set in the real world

not set in the real world

Granted, however its paradoxical presence destroys the universe.

I wish for a Winged Flying Eternally Glowing Lamppost of Glory.

It's not "like fiction." It's "like fiction set in the real world" and thus not paradoxical. There's no comma there, "fiction set in the real world" is the object of the sentence. You have only a white-belt in grammar-fu! It's true that "like the kind of fiction that is set in the real world" would be less ambiguous, but that's clunky and without a comma to separate the object into two clauses, there can only be one meaning.

And your wish is granted, but the Glory burns your eyes.

I wish for this thread to contain wishes that get corrupted.

[Lenglon]

Granted.

I wish for a Heat-Seeking loaf of bread.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it implodes upon itself after coming out of the oven, trying to chase its own warm center. The resulting singularity consumes your house, then explodes because it loses it's small mass to Hawking radiation too fast. You are jailed for terrorism, but in retrospect it could have been worse.

I wish I could find enough time to write something that meets the SCP wiki's high standards.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. You get fired from your job, your significant other leaves you, and all your pets die. This causes you to, instead of writing SCP material, write terrible country music about all of your life's troubles.

I wish I was Clef.

[Furtuka]

You are the Chicagoland Lutheran Educational Foundation


I wish my AP tests were spaced farther apart

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The next one's in China, tomorrow.

I wish, once more, for evil plants.