Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[intelligentmoron]

Granted, it is now impossible to physically alter your body in any way including shaving, haircuts, fingernails, muscle building, memory formation, and aging

I wish for a barrel of vodka

[rabidgam3r]

Granted. Russians kill you for touching their precious vodka, get drunk, and urinate on your corpse.

I want to be a clown.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Congratulations, it is retroactive. Instead of asking a wish, you state only your want, and make a clown of yourself.

I wish I knew where tachyons went when they reached the genesis of the universe.

[RAM]

They bounce off of it. Sort of depressing really...

I want to perpetually hover half a metre off of the ground.

[Meistermoxx]

They bounce off of it. Sort of depressing really...

I want to perpetually hover half a metre off of the ground.

Granted, you are hung in a tree in the forest. Noone ever finds you, so you perpeturally hover (or hang) half a meter above the ground.

I wish that illuminati were revealed and all executed.

[RAM]

The aliens are now unopposed and have the freedom to secretly conquer the world and use it for experiments. They start by causing all entertainment programs to be played in the wrong order.

I wish to be god.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. It was Friend Computer that killed them. You're killed for communism.

I wish I wasn't at work.

[intelligentmoron]

Granted, your fired. Pack your stuff and leave

I wish for some cocaine

[Remuthra]

Granted. Your dwarves use it to smelt iron.

I wish I had all the books. All of them.

[Argonnek]

Granted. You now receive all of the books ever written by human hands delivered by the dump truck into your lawn. During a massive storm.

I wish I could strike awe into the hearts of those around me.

[RAM]

Nobody granted my wish so I am going to have to do it myself...

Granted, you and ram now fuse to become an awe-inspiring god. The fusion process is painful and leaves us incoherent wrecks which in turn results in us being reviled as an uncaring deity.

I wish to be unfused from Arg...

[GrizzlyAdamz]

I wish to be unfused from Arg...

Granted. He gets the god powers and you get your head.

I wish I was an excellent, adaptable chef with knowledge of hundreds of good, tasty recipes that are of varying difficulties/time requirements/ingredients/cultural origins.

[Meistermoxx]

I wish to be unfused from Arg...

Granted. He gets the god powers and you get your head.

I wish I was an excellent, adaptable chef with knowledge of hundreds of good, tasty recipes that are of varying difficulties/time requirements/ingredients/cultural origins.

Granted. But your new book on human meat is outlawed, and you are lynched by extremists for promoting cannibalism.

I wish a million wishes, and that none of them could get corruptet, then i wish for a million dollars.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. But your new book on human meat is outlawed, and you are lynched by extremists for promoting cannibalism.

I wish a million wishes, and that none of them could get corruptet, then i wish for a million dollars.

Granted. The 1 million uncorrupted wishes are for owing the Fed 1$. Your last wish doesn't come true because you used all of them.

I wish every day was Christmas. And every night Hanukkah. And Saturdays st. patties. Forever.

[RAM]

In three days time the entire surface of the planet is buried under a dense layer of unwanted gifts, candles, and broken beer-bottles...

I wish that yeast never existed.