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[RAM]

Gravity no longer exerts influence upon you and so you are flung into space. Fortunately, you are not immune to cold.
The ground no longer supports you and so you drop into the centre of the planet. Fortunately, you are not immune to heat.
Oxygen can no longer interact with your cells, your entire body suffocates simultaneously...
Massive numbers of particles now pass through you that were previously prevented from doing so, many of these react with your internal physiology in painful, uncomfortable, and lethal ways.
Being unable to touch anything you are legally declared incapable of caring for yourself and you are placed under the care of a greedy and malicious relative.

Toady goes insane from the pressure and Dwarf Fortress becomes Cthulhu Fortress which is just a seemingly random pattern of A.S.C.I.I. characters endlessly appearing on the screen. Then you get this strange buzzing sensation as though three flies and a chihuahua had been calmly debating international trade laws at the base of your spine about a fortnight ago.

I wish that this was all a dream.

[Gentlefish]

Congrats! You now wake up to your worst nightmare.

I wish for Cthulhu to be awakened.

[RAM]

Already happened, this is what you get...
You just woke up in the middle of a really nice dream, and you just can't remember it...

I wish to be in a world composed of pure chaos.

[wer6]

Granted: however the world is now just A binary code: A chaos of ones and zero's.

I wish for the world too be of perfect harmony and order.

[Remuthra]

Granted. Now the binary stream is all zeros.

I wish for a world composed in such a way that it is both pure chaos and pure harmony and order.

[RAM]

Randomly, the whole of existence doesn't.

I wish to know how the world would be different if every game had an automatic victory option.

[Gentlefish]

You see the reality, and go mad for the rest of your days.

I wish that sempai notices me.

[UltraValican]

He does. Too bad you're Senpai is a really a tentacle demon from hell. Congratulations, you get to be the mother of 100,000,000 hellspawn.
It doesn't matter if you're a dude either.

I wish that human life on earth continued forever.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

All humanity is frozen in carbonite and the solar system is engulfed in a black hole. (how else would one avoid entropy?)
-edit
Meanwhile, an undiscovered planet near alpha centauri continues to enjoy it's race of passive edible perfect-sandwich lifeforms and massive unobtainium deposits.


I yet again wish for amazing luck for the rest of my natural life.

[timferius]

All humanity is frozen in carbonite and the solar system is engulfed in a black hole. (how else would one avoid entropy?)
-edit
Meanwhile, an undiscovered planet near alpha centauri continues to enjoy it's race of passive edible perfect-sandwich lifeforms and massive unobtainium deposits.


I yet again wish for amazing luck for the rest of my natural life.

Your luck kicks in right away, and doctors catch a genetic defect in time before it kills you. Sadly, your life has now passed what would have been a natural death. You are promptly hit by a meteor and suffer for days before you finally subcome to your wounds.

I wish for a safe, secure underground lair.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Worth it, not everyone gets to catch a meteor and tell the tale!

Granted. You are the world's most wanted, and you have been jailed for life, secluded, sealed 1 mile below the earth in what *most* would call a tomb. At least it's safe and secure.

I wish my computer didn't pick up any dust, inside nor out.

[Meistermoxx]

I wish my computer didn't pick up any dust, inside nor out.

Your computer is now sealed forever in a bubble of idontknowsomethingrareium.

I wish that you could vote for more than two parties in the US.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted, you get access to the Bonus Ballot Box* if you pay .25$. Supplies aren't limited.


I wish Mass Effect 2 hadn't turned the franchise into an action game with rpg elements    didn't turn you into a corporate lackey    didn't change the shape of the default character's head.




*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(another vote)

[RAM]

Mass effect 2 is now a Tetris clone featuring blocks made up of 32x32 pixel scans of the heads of the characters from mass effect. Mass effect 3 is now a clone of Worm with worms composed of confusingly gyrating bobble-head dolls...

I wish that I could take all the pain and suffering in the world into myself and keep it sealed away forever.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

At least then, 20 years later, they might do a half-decent reboot. For great justice.
-edit
They'd still be best-sellers.

Granted. You gain the ability to do just that, and try- you pick up the mantle all at once. Everyone in the world tastes bliss. Then you chicken out, lay it back on everyone in the world like a sack of dead babies and everyone hates you. Wars start because of the massive global buzzkill.

I wish to know how to do something about past regrets.