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[mistertimn]

Granted. You have the best nose the universe has ever seen, and an alien race abducts you and steal it off your face.

I wish my school had better Internet.

[Remuthra]

Granted. Your city's schools now have the best assortment of fishing nets in the world.

I wish I was exactly the same now as I was 5 seconds ago.

[pisskop]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted.  WoW players flock to your school, destroying the bandwidth.

Granted.  Now you have a goldfish's memory.  Everything is always new.

I wish for moar cheddar and sour cream chips (and soup for them to go in).

[mistertimn]

Granted. You get ALL DA CHIPS. This angers other chip lovers, and they come to your house and bludgeon you with potatoes.

I wish for someone to do my business work.

[RAM]

Someone 'does' your working materials on a regular basis, right in front of you, it is disgusting. It also makes it difficult to keep employment...

I wish that goldfish really did have a memory that only lasted 5 seconds.

[timferius]

Granted, but it only takes them 4 to kill you...

I wish for a swarm of ladybug minions, to do my bidding with the utmost of loyalty to me.

[RAM]

If you don't spend every waking moment personally fighting the aphid hordes then ladybug command will have you killed.

I wish that every statue that was over a hunred years old could communicate intelligently with humans and perceive the contents and activities within a 10 metre distance around it.

[Zephyr]

Granted. it's mostly screams though... O_O

I wish brain bleach was real.

[RAM]

Ummm, it is, there are various chemicals that prevent short-term memory from being retained. As one can imagine these are easily abused... Not to mention that if you encountered it once then you will probably encounter it again, and it will be a fresh experience every time!

I wish for the above poster to corrupt this wish.

[Remuthra]

Granted.

I wish for the universe to cease to exist.

[Vgray]

Granted. A random video game universe ceases to exist.

I wish I was El Presidente.

[Zephyr]

Granted. you retain the title for approximately 26 minutes before yet another hot-blooded lunatic with a gun performs a Coup d'état on you...with bullets.

On a side note: RAM didn't specify which wish to corrupt

I wish I acutally HAD some brain bleach!

[RAM]

Granted, you will have no recollection of the next three hours of your life...

I wish for the nuclear launch codes.

[mocman]

Granted now how do you enter them into the launch computers.

I wish I had intangability.

[Meistermoxx]

Granted, you will have no recollection of the next three hours of your life...

I wish for the nuclear launch codes.

Granted, but the missiles associated with them have already been disassembled.

I wish that Toady would release the next version of DF today.