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[RAM]

Peanut butter becomes awesome beyond all reckoning. And so, peanuts are hunted to extinction...

I wish that I was a space-alien on a mission to terraform(Wait, does that word mean to make earth-like?) Earth to better suit my species.

[Zephyr]

Granted, you fail in your mission and get eaten by earth hillbillies.

I wish i could eat an alien.

[lemon10]

Granted, someone sells you a 100 pounds of genuine alien meat for a few thousand dollars. After eating it they tell you it was a genuine illegal alien. Congratulations on supporting a murderous cannibal.

I wish I was the best artist in the world.

[Remuthra]

Granted. You draw all sorts of metaphysical masterpieces that look like something a five year old drew with their eyes closed while on drugs.

I wish I was an interdimensional space prescence.

[Zephyr]

Granted, but then I eat you.

I wish i got space indegestion.

[timferius]

Granted, but then I eat you.

I wish i got space indegestion.

Granted, but I have trouble reading it and you get space gestation. Giving birth to space is really friggin' painful, and the big bang at the end tears you asunder.

I wish I could come up with better wishes, 'cause all my wishes are lame, but I like granting wishes.

[RAM]

You come up with better wishes by draining the ideas from everyone else. Nobody else can wish anymore.

I wish that I could think of a wish, my capacity to do so seems to have been drained...

[Zephyr]

Granted. you wish you didn't think of a wish.

I wish i could pull myself away from the DFWiki and tv-tropes... so...many....tabs 

[Gentlefish]

Granted. You now find a website more addicting than both to consume your tabs.

I wish I could beat Breath of Fire.

[RAM]

Your monitor breaths fire at you. You grab the flames, wrestle them to the ground, punch them into submission, stand triumphantly with one foot on their fading body, and then spend six month in hospital recovering from burns.

I wish that the governing forces of the physical world would obey me.

[Gentlefish]

They obey, but the metaphysical forces beat you into submission. Metaphorically.

I wish I could get a good night's sleep. At night. In my own nice bed.

[tomio175]

You get one night of sleep. A week or two later, you die, since you haven't slept anymore.

I wish that this wish would be granted.

[pisskop]

Granted, your wish is granted.  The cost: 1 eternal soul.

I wish I had a 'barrel sense' which I couls use as a super-heightened gut feeling. [Source: Stephen King's novel Firestarter]

[mistertimn]

Granted, your gut feeling becomes supercharged and so powerful, you can't even tell what it's telling you.

I wish I was taller.

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

Granted, your so tall you suffocate because there isn't any air in space

I wish I was a dragon