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[pisskop]

Granted, dragon family who have dry scaly skin.

I wish to live until I am 75.

[Vorthon]

Granted. Oh, you didn't specify whether that was in Earth years or not? Too bad: CoRoT-7b years. You have now retroactively died before your first birthday.

I wish my sister wasn't in that 'surly, bitchy, snaps-at-everything' phase.

[misko27]

Granted, Now she is in that 'Scheming, Manipulative, Blame Vorthon for everything' phase.
 
I wish for a legal-size envelope.

[pisskop]

Granted, some jerk put glue in it.

I wish  finding credible internet sources was simpler.

[misko27]

Granted. Now you can just press the Q button on and off for 13 hours, and out pops a credible interenet source!
(Simple, doesn't mean easy)
 
I wish to have the ability to punch out evil-doers, loosely defined as to include teachers.

[Playergamer]

Granted. You are hired as an english teacher 2 hours later. You are given 2 black eyes and a bloody nose by your past self.

I wish I had an army of robot butlers named Jarvis.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. Any time you come near a loosely-defined evil-doer, you feel the urge and ability to strike them hard. Numerous counts of assault and a couple of murder (in the case of unusually frail people) emerge.

Granted.

I wish that there was an alien invasion just powerful enough to get people to drop their petty differences.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, the world is annihilated by the aliens.

I wish the world was an average Dungeons & Dragons world.

[pisskop]

Granted you roll 8s for every stat and an owlbear hugs you to death after a bat scares you into a cave.  Your mutilated corpse is reanimated by a necromancer and for the rest of time are that one annoying but weak skeleton everyone complains about.  Also you master doesn't  stay in character.

I wish for a world where melee combat was still viable next to guns.

[Playergamer]

Granted. Off with your head!

I wish I had all the swedish meatballs in every IKEA in the world.

[weenog]

Granted, you have them all in one sitting.  While your stomach miraculously doesn't burst, your colon never forgives you.

I wish there was a 24-hour coffee shop with comfy chairs and free wifi here in town.

[Cassandra]

Granted. You get kicked out permanently for showing nude pictures of the boss's wife, though.

I wish for a dragoness to take me away, for the most wonderful, romance filled night of my life.

[scapheap]

Granted now walk back

I wish I could teleport at will

[weenog]

Granted now walk back

I wish I could teleport at will

Granted.  Turns out teleporting from place to place requires just as much energy as physically moving there. Also, working out relative velocities of start point and destination so you don't miss the planet by a few thousand miles gives you a headache.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and -- and, I don't want any zombie turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises.

[adasdad]

granted. it's a pretty bad sandwich.


I wish for enlightenment.