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[wer6]

corruption is in real life now: you are the first victim of it and the last after the age quickly recedes.

I wish i had a pet monkey: that wont actively tries to murder me.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, you get a lead statue in the shape of a monkey.

I wish for someone else to understand the fourth dimension and play DF because of that knowledge.

[Spinal_Taper]

You do so. You play DF so much you forget to do anything else. Then DF gets boring

I wish I could write like Stephen King.

[FuzzyZergling]

Granted. In order to truly understand him, you become an alcoholic and get hit by a car.

I wish for delicious chocolate.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. Most of the flavor comes from a deadly poison in it.

I wish for a bucket.

[misko27]

Granted. It is composed of the bones of your parents and filled with their blood.
 
I wish I wasn't so lonely when not in a relationship.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You are now terrified of women. Whenever you see someone female, you scream at the top of your lungs and faint.

I wish I wasn't afraid of heights.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You're no longer afraid of heights, but you're afraid of falling.

I wish to have the power to kill anyone I want without any consequences.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You go mad with power, and kill everyone on the planet except yourself.

I wish that I wasn't afraid of falling.
(The reason I'm afraid of heights, is the thought of falling. Google it)

[MrCelt]

Granted. You go mad with power, and kill everyone on the planet except yourself.

I wish that I wasn't afraid of falling.
(The reason I'm afraid of heights, is the thought of falling. Google it)

You're no longer afraid of falling, but that fear was also what kept you from doing stupid things, like going to the edge of steep cliffs.

RIP.

[Audioworm333]

I wish MrCelt made a wish.

[pisskop]

Granted, MrCelt wished for you to post after him.  You do so like a tool, of course

I wish for more Cheeze Doodlz.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. RAZOR BLADES!

I wish for something completely unimportant in every way, shape, and form to happen to me.

[MrCelt]

Granted. RAZOR BLADES!

I wish for something completely unimportant in every way, shape, and form to happen to me.

Wish granted - One of your cells decide to become cancerous - Sadly, it grows to become an inoperable tumour. RIP.

I wish I stopped forgetting to post "I wish"

[IronTomato]

Granted. You now post "I want"

EDIT: Oh, the irony. I wish for a diet coke.