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[Audioworm333]

Granted. Now you're not allowed.

I wish for pancakes that weren't poison or burnt or anything.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. The syrup is poisoned.

I wish to be smart enough to fool you into giving me more wishes.

[Audioworm333]

Granted. You are viciously murdered by an angry mob of jealous rednecks.

I wish my kitten was neutered.

[pisskop]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, you buy the wishmaster from me, for $5,000 U.S. dollar.

granted, it gets fat and lazy and apathetic, nothig like its old self.

I wish I had more ruffles ridge chips for my french onion dip.


[what gives on the spoiler? *Curse you clumsy phone controls!]

[misko27]

Like this: [spoiler]yadda[/spoiler] not like this: [spoiler]yadda[\spoiler]

[Ibid Straydrink]

Like this: [spoiler]yadda[/spoiler] not like this: [spoiler]yadda[\spoiler]

Granted.

I wish Lassie had been a Dolphin, whereas Flipper was a collie.

[Audioworm333]

Granted. Lassie is run over and Flipper drowns. Nice job, prick.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish this text wasn't in a spoiler.

[Jellycat12]

I wish this text wasn't in a spoiler.

Granted.

I wish for Mew.

[pisskop]

Granted,

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish I had not missed the maths class today... Bad for business.

[Spinal_Taper]

You go to the math class, and it explodes. Maybe your business of choice shouldn't have been assasinating yourself.

I wish I could see the invisible, do the impossible, break the unbreakable and row row fight the power.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. It is impossible to fly off into space and break the power of gravity. You see your invisible lines of irritation as you slowly die of anyxphixiation and decompression.

I wish I was rich, happy, and safe.

[misko27]

Granted. One day, however, you realize it is because you exploited the workers and forced them to live in absolute squallor. You commit suicide. They go on to form a peaceful government which solves many if not most of humanities problems, and lead them well off into the Golden age, climaxing in the distant future of alien colonies. None of this matters to you, as you are dead.
 
I wish I didn't have any work to do tonight,

[wer6]

Granted as you have been stolen by cuthulu

I wish I had a Spell that can make cuthulu look like a puppy and no it wont kill me.

[lemon10]

Granted, you die before casting it because Cthulhu doesn't want to look like a puppy and knows what you are doing.
((Its unclear if by 'it' won't kill me, you are referring to Cthulhu or the spell, I assumed you meant the spell))

I wish I had a giant cheese wheel the size of Texas (that didn't crush me).

[Jellycat12]

Granted. Not only did you turn Texas into a cheese wheel, it's also much too big to eat before it goes stale.

I wish for a black hole.