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[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. The laptop AI is now very friendly and can't hurt another human being.  It's kinda annoying how it asks for hugs every couple minutes though, and won't keep working unless it gets hugs.

I wish I had wings and could fly.

[Blizzlord]

Granted. You transform into Icarus.

I wish everyone could enjoy music.

[lemon10]

Granted, next time you hear a song you enjoy it so much that you just sit there till you starve to death.


I wish I could finish this essay without procrastinating.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you finish trhe essay Mortal Combat style. BRUTALITY!
And now you can deliver the shredded remains to your teacher.

I wish I had some Mortal Kombat skills.

[pisskop]

Granted, you now have the skills of Striker...  Shame that now you have to face Scorpion, Subzero, Kain, and whoever else I forgot.

I wish I had a cool cybernetic arm like Jax.

[lemon10]

Granted, it is a cool 2 degrees kelvin, enjoy the hypothermia.

I wish that I had gotten more sleep tonight.

[Blizzlord]

Granted. The injection you had to take to make it possible has the side effect of causing your skin to shrivel up like a burning piece of polymer.

I wish that the new X-COM game turns out to be really good.

[Guardian G.I.]

Granted.
The faulty DRM renders it unplayable.

I wish I could actually write compositions for literature classes.

[misko27]

Granted. They turn into Essays on why teachers suck after you hand it in.

I wish People would stop writing mean things about my school.

[tomio175]

Granted. They turn into Essays on why teachers suck after you hand it in.

I wish People would stop writing mean things about my school.

Granted. They no longer write mean things about your school, they now DO mean things against your school. Soon, it burns down and you are unable to find another school for the rest of your now miserable life.

I wish for a legal, perfect waffle which can't choke me.

[pisskop]

Granted, it is so starchy you become diabetic.

I wish my philosophy class(mates) wasn't so stupid.

[kaijyuu]

Granted. Your perspective changes and you now consider them the most intelligent beings in existence, despite them not changing in any way whatsoever.

I wish for a lollipop.

[jaxy15]

Granted. It is licorice flavored.

I wish for the power to turn people into cotton balls.

[pisskop]

Granted, King Midas.  P.S.  Don't masterbate...

I wish my teacher didn't grade out work based on number of words written.  (My essay was both more concise and better written.  Fuck a B.)

[lemon10]

Granted, your teach now grades based on how well your essays explain fourteenth dimensional space.

I wish I had diamond wings (that I could retract/make dispensary temporarily and wouldn't crush me under their massive weight, oh, and would let me fly obviously).