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[pisskop]

You get an elf as a girlfriend!  Unfortunately during your first fight she kills and eats you!

I wish for a deep tissue massage.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. It's very deep. Hey, are the massager's hands supposed to come out of your chest?

I wish my superhero team had a chance to redeem itself!

[Techhead]

Granted. You are all martyred and find redemption in death.

I wish I knew the secret to building gravity manipulators with modern technology.

[tomio175]

Granted. The bad thing is that you miscalculated slightly. Every living thing is now a bit of red/black/... mush.
I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

[pisskop]

Granted.  I didn't want to anyhow.  Have fun thinking what might have been...

I wish I hadn't eaten 4 doughnuts today.

[Mr Space Cat]

I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

If the wish is granted, does that mean the wish is never granted? But to corrupt the wish, you must grant the wish, which means it was never granted in the first place, which means--*headsplodes*

I wish I hadn't eaten 4 doughnuts today.

Granted. The donuts become animated and crawl back out of your digestive system.

I wish weekends lasted forever.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. You run out of food at home and all of the stores are closed.

I wish demand for my stories came back up, and GreatWyrmGold and the Utahraptors were therefore brought back from the dead.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. You run out of food at home and all of the stores are closed.

That's just silly. Walmart never closes!

I wish demand for my stories came back up, and GreatWyrmGold and the Utahraptors were therefore brought back from the dead.

Granted. You and your zombie Utahraptor buddies attempt to start a Jurassic Park to tell your stories in. The Park features zombie Utahraptors. Things get out of hand, as the zombie Utahraptors breed undead zombie raptor fetuses. As the herd of zombie dinos grow, they get harder and harder to control, and eventually run amok. You've brought on the zombie apocalypse of all zombie apocalypses: a zombie dinosaur fetus apocalypse!

I wish you guys would stop corrupting people's wishes. That's, like, not cool, man. You gotta learn to love one another and stuff, man.

[Skyrunner]

Granted. Now only girls corrupt your wishes.

I wish I was fluent in five language including this one and English.

[kaijyuu]

Granted. You're now fluent in Klingon, Dwarven, Elvish, Korean, and English.


I wish for a chocolate bar.

[Spinal_Taper]

It's the greatest bar you've ever had. The myriad flavors dance upon your pallate as nimbly and beautifully as a fairy through the crisp night sky. Its texture is crisp, just crisp enough to offer some resistance, but not enough to require much effort. But it consumes you. You are drawn into the chocolate, devouring it with nary a care in the world. Just then, it's gone. You spend the rest of your life in eternal torment, searching out just one more bite of the bar.

I wish that... I had a work ethic.

[Lagslayer]

Granted. It's a very poor work ethic. You can't even bring yourself to get out of your computer chair. As you slowly die in a pile of your own waste, you are too lazy to even type or move the mouse.

I wish there was nothing.

[tomio175]

Your wish is granted. There is nothing. Right. You die quickly because you aren't breathing in enough Arsenic. Have fun!

I wish for a hug by a normal (-ish) person that won't kill me, wound me or hurt me.

[kaijyuu]

Granted. You get a hug from me, though I'm not normalish, but rather just normal.

/hug


I wish for a hug as well.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, a creeper walks up to you, wanting a hug as well.

I wish to see the hilarity that ensues.