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[adasdad]

granted. however, it is so vague, you aren't sure how it works.




I wish that I worked at the SCP Foundation and didn't get: killed, maimed, driven insane, forced into an "no mouth and I must scream" scenario, had my memory erased, or work there as a d-class.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted, [REDACTED], a jukebox steals your soul. You can still speak, via speakers, but it does get boring here being deaf, blind and incapable of movemrnt.

I wish I was more clever(er than you)

[adasdad]

granted. you are incredibly clever, but you are killed by the government by the government because you almost found the unicorn slave camps.

and for the record, that jukebox thing counts as an "I must scream" scenario.



I wish that I would turn green for exactly one second, and then revert baack to normal.

[Trapezohedron]

"no mouth and I must scream" was kept under a single quote, therefore implying that specific condition. I was simply exploiting the system.

Granted. You turn green, then turn baa-

Baa. Baa.

Baabaabaa? You're now a sheep.

I wish I was non-toxic.

[Lagslayer]

Granted, but you are made of play-doh.

I wish I had my own personal nyancat.

[SoHowAreYou]

Granted but it spawns on you after you become a CIA field agent in the middle of a dangerous situation.

I wish for dancing badgers.

[UristMcWanderer]

Granted. But a horde of badgers dances into your home and starts biting you to death.

I wish for... Water, water, WATER!!!

[SoHowAreYou]

A tsunami destroys your house have fun.

I wish The temparature outside would go down by 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

[Blizzlord]

Granted. Because the thing granting the wish does not know what fahrenheit is, the temperature is lowered by 20 degrees Celsius.

I wish I could channel a powerful source of magic.

[adasdad]

 you now can obliterate one atom every second, which is incredibly powerful magic as far as this universe goes.


I wish I went to the Discworld.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, you fall off after refusing your 'angel' after being hanged for mistaken for a criminal.

I wish DF dwarves controlled the world.

[Fortis]

Granted. They're also the dwarves that were in charge of Boatmurdered.

I wish I had a jetpack.

[misko27]

Granted. It lights your butt on fire, and and you realize that you dont know how to use a jetpack. As your butt burns, you crash into a wall.

I wish I had telekenetic powers.

[feralferret]

Granted. You have absolutely no control over them and immediately cause your entire house to smash into you, reducing you to a mushy puddle.

I wish I had Michelango-level woodcarving skills (ie: amazingly good at it). Is that weird?

[adasdad]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, you fall off after refusing your 'angel' after being hanged for mistaken for a criminal.

Oh come on, I wouldn't make that mistake even if I HADN'T read the books.

you have extreme wood carving skills. however, in this day and age, this only nets you an extra 20 bucks a week selling figurines at a local craft fair.

I wish for a glass of pure, room temperature water.