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[jaxy15]

Granted. It's a durian tree, and while you are leaning against it, the fruit falls off and kill you.

I wish I knew how all the /tg/station (Space Station 13) jobs worked.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You now know how those jobs work. Too bad everyone decides to ditch roleplaying in favor of min-maxing and generally destroying everyone at first chance instead.

I wish I died less in ToME

[SoHowAreYou]

Granted your computer explodes.

I wish for an apology from anyone.

[Trapezohedron]

"My deepest apologies for this major inconvenience, what with your parents dying, your siblings turned insane and your girlfriend in my clutches. This will never happen again, I promise you that, when you simply give up and stop breathing."

Yours Truly,

[REDACTED]

ps: go pay my electricity bills for me, will you?

I wish for Kotton Kandy.

[Spinal_Taper]

They pull out of your body, taking most of your skin with them. You die a slow tortous death, your muscles and organs rotting away upon exposure to the outside air.
I wish I would hunker down and write a quality turn for my rtd.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Granted, then the server crashes before you hit post and you lose it's perfection.

I wish for PARANOIA

[quinnr]

Granted, then the server crashes before you hit post and you lose it's perfection.

I wish for PARANOIA

You get it. You are scared that the police, aliens, and cowboys will find you wherever you go. Even in your own bed.

I wish for a pet cat.

[jaxy15]

Granted. However, you get TWO cats, and they breed and breed until the entire house is full of kittens, and you are unable to breathe.
You die from the lack of oxygen.

I wish for more wishes, that aren't corrupted.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Granted, you create so many PURE wishes you are executed by the churc- Time police for treason.

I wish for the PARANOIA RPG, not paranoia.

[quinnr]

Granted, you create so many PURE wishes you are executed by the churc- Time police for treason.

I wish for the PARANOIA RPG, not paranoia.

Granted. But, you are now paranoid of RPGs. Every time you play one, you start sweating and freaking out on the inside.

I wish that I could have a cookie flavored cat with a cake flavored hamster.

[adasdad]

Granted, you create so many PURE wishes you are executed by the churc- Time police for treason.

I wish for the PARANOIA RPG, not paranoia.

Granted. But, you are now paranoid of RPGs. Every time you play one, you start sweating and freaking out on the inside.

I wish that I could have a cookie flavored cat with a cake flavored hamster.

granted. you enjoy your delicious animals. you are arrested for animal abuse.
I wish I was born with a really cool name.

[crazysheep]

Granted, but everyone else has really cool names too.

I wish my internet connection would stabilise itself :/

[adasdad]

it stabilizes at one byte every minute.




I wish that I could make the music of my choice play at the volume of my choice from anywhere.

[jaxy15]

Granted. However, it only plays for 0.00001 seconds.

I wish I had the ability to shoot cotton balls from my hands.

[Lagslayer]

Granted. You are now Cotton Man! You float on the breeze, saving people from evil-doers wherever you go! But then, your arch nemesis, Boll Weevil Man captures you! You struggle, but try as you might, nothing can prevent you from becoming his next meal. That day was the beginning of the end for all cotton. And then the people cursed your name, for you had failed them.

I wish for nondescript powers of vagueness.