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[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted. You are launched into space and die from asphixation.

I wish to be the most inferior thing in existence.

[PokemonRocks85]

Granted but people love you being inferior so your the president

I wish Neverending story would continue again

[IamanElfCollaborator]

...

That wish is banned by SOPA.

[REDACTED]

[Phantom of The Library]

...

That wish is banned by SOPA.

[REDACTED]

Granted, the monkeys from the other side of mars form an alliance with the Grand Overlord Archduke of the elves and then they take over Klingon.

I wish that I had more time to read.

[bukitodinos]

your glasses breack you are near sighted

why? because F*** you thats why

i wish i could find my black sharpie

[Skyrunner]

You find your black sharpie, but it has declared sentience and sues you for liberty.

I wish I had a million ducats.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted a million cats of the "du" breed fill your house from top to bottom.

I wish that I could find a picture of Boom from Static Shock.  I had the greatest photoshop idea, but it seems to be impossible to find any good pictures from that show any more.

[Sirus]

The only pictures you can find have been struck by Rule 34.

I wish for world peace.

[Argonnek]

Granted, all weapons are destroyed in celebration, and we are annihilated by alien invaders.

I wish I had a fresh, delicious pizza. In a box on the table.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted the box is made of lead and soldered shut, but there are still minuscule holes that let out the delicious aroma.

I wish that I could be that one voice, singing in the darkness, 'cause all it takes is one voice, and soon everyone shall sing.

[Sirus]

The box is solid adamantium. You cannot open it, but you can smell the pizza, just out of reach. Forever.Damn you Phantom, you stole my idea

You start singing, but the lights come on and you get stage fright. You never sing again, and no one joins in.

I wish some of the knick-knacks in my room were actually valuable.

[Skyrunner]

They are promptly stolen.

I wish iPods had like 4 times more RAM. And that Safari stops crashing so often.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, one of them is the key to unlocking the Gate of Darkness that holds back the demon prison, and it reveals itself and attracts evil beings from all around to it every 200 years.  Guess how many years it's been since the last time.   

Darn you.

Granted, apple is bought by android who makes all of their stuff actually work.

I wish that holiday songs would stop showing up on my iTunes DJ when it's nowhere near the holidays.

[Skyrunner]

Granted. They now show up in your speakers, all of them. You are driven mad by the songs.


I wish The Three Musketeers was easier to read.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted. It is now 1 page short.

I wish I was more inferior than even an ELF.