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[PokemonRocks85]

Granted but when people go on mars they start massive wars

I wish that armok could be nice one day

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted. That day is when Toady decides to stop developing DF.

I wish that elves existed and that we could slaughter them all.

[PokemonRocks85]

Granted but the elves start a rebellion and kill all the humans.

I wish that it was still the medievil times

[Fniff]

It now is. Now there is no technological advancement, witch hunts and general misery. You are hanged for being a witch.

[klingon13524]

It now is. Now there is no technological advancement, witch hunts and general misery. You are hanged for being a witch.

You need to state a wish...

[Trapezohedron]

Granted, but a meteorite hits Fniff in the face before he/she could make any wish. The meteorite finally stops.

I wish I was SCP-682

[Sirus]

Granted. Your life is a torment of unending torture as weird pinkish squishy things keep you immersed in acid 90% of the time while subjecting you to the most painful experiences to be found in several universes all in an attempt to kill you.

tl;dr: Your life sucks, dude.

I wish to survive a zombie apocalypse with all of my faculties intact.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, the zombie Apocalypse consists of three zombies and a completely blow out of proportion media story, and the entire event goes down in history as the Zombie Apocolypse similar to Y2K.

I wish that I had noticed that Skyward Sword came with a cd earlier than today

[GlyphGryph]

Granted. Your cat disappears, and you never see it again.

I wish all my job-related program problems magically solved themselves, but I was still able to get credit for fixing them.

[Sirus]

Granted. However, the problems were designed to be impossible to solve. You are classified as an SCP and locked up for the rest of your days.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not get the unhealthy side-effects.

[Strife26]

Granted.

You know that zombie apocalypse with three people, earlier? You're number two.




I wish for a butterfly knife.

[Sirus]

But I already survived the zombie apocalypse 

Oh well. The butterfly knife is a spy, and he is NOT on your side.

I wish for a 16gig USB drive.

[Strife26]

Strange how that happens. In any case, your 16gigUSB flash drive is both full and empty of any information at all times. Makes it completely useless, though.




I wish for a new pair of boots.

[Sirus]

The boots are several sizes too small, and the store has a no returns policy.

I wish I had a professionally-painted Dreadfleet board game.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Granted, but you did a d20 half stat roll and landed on 20
You get your game yet you also get hit by a car after walking out of the store, you turn into a vegetable.

I wish for a frozen superconductor and a line of magnets to make it "lock in place"