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[Skyrunner]

You are hit by a nine-foot-high train.

I wish for whipped swiss cheese sautee.

[Chaos Armor]

Granted, but it has poison... you know what I've used that a couple of times already... It has a special type of mold on it that grants its sentience with which it realizes that to stay alive it must eat you. NOM! NOM!

I wish for a cup of hot cocoa.

[Nega]

Granted. The hot cocoa turns acidic the moment it enters your stomach and burns it's way out of your chest.

I wish I never had to poop. 

[Trapezohedron]

Granted, but you never got to test it because METEORITE TO THE HEAD.

Your head goes splat.

I wish I was an indestructable, time travelling, demon of epic greenish proportions.

[Chaos Armor]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, but you never got to test it because METEORITE TO THE HEAD.

METEORITE TO THE KNEE!

Granted, but you are now Kermit the Frog and being a puppet you have no control over yourself.

I wish to have control over this Kermit puppet.

[Azthor]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, but you never got to test it because METEORITE TO THE HEAD.

METEORITE TO THE KNEE!

Granted, but you are now Kermit the Frog and being a puppet you have no control over yourself.

I wish to have control over this Kermit puppet.

Granted, but its demonically-infused spirit possesses you. You are now slave to a Greater Demon of Ol' Comedy.

I wish for the Stars to Align, in  the lovecraftian way.

[Vorthon]

Granted. You are the last person to die. You suffer horrifically at the hands (Or tentacles. Or strange, incomprehensible manipulative appendages) of the eldritch abominations released from their aeons-long slumber.

I wish I had fortress made exclusively of black sapphire.

[Johnfalcon99977]

Granted, but since sapphires aren't black, they are painted over with poison Ink. The poison is released into the air. You die instantly.

I wish people were more creative with their corruptions outside of "Something bad but competely unrelated happens"

[Azthor]

Granted, instead, they will use and abue the butterfly effect.

I wish for rampant deicide and deification of my persona, in that order. Nothing can go wrong, except as a direct consequence of the wish.

[Vorthon]

Granted. You are forever tasked with keeping the universe from devolving into Chaos. Unable to do anything else. Forever.

I wish that I had a fortress. Made of black sapphire. Granted by somebody who actually knows what black sapphire is. (It's a real gemstone, people! Go to Wikipedia and look it up!)

[Azthor]

Granted. You are forever tasked with keeping the universe from devolving into Chaos. Unable to do anything else. Forever.

I wish that I had a fortress. Made of black sapphire. Granted by somebody who actually knows what black sapphire is. (It's a real gemstone, people! Go to Wikipedia and look it up!)

Granted, but your fortress is assaulted by legions of miners and tax-collectors, the first after the gemstones, the later sent by all surrounding lords, hoping to reap massive amounts out of the property's taxation.

I wish to take over the function of immediate superior to whoever tasked me with keeping the universe from devolving into chaos.

[Devling]

Yourself? 

I wish for fishes that grant wishes!

[Chaos Armor]

Granted, but being a penguin I eat all of the fish.

I wish for a good piece of ham.

[Devling]

You get ham, but it is made a hog with Madhog disease. You die.

I wish for fishes made of phishs wishes.

[Argonnek]

Granted. Phish's wishes become corrupted as well, and the fish become evil.

I wish potatoes contained all the nutrients a human body needs while still being delicious.