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[Skyrunner]

Granted. You now know, and It's horrifying.

I wish I had a Dorito tree.

Granted, but the doritos taste like a tree.


I wish I had an iPhone.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted you have and iPhone

I wish I knew how to make that worse I don't think it's possible.

[Sirus]

You now know how to make that worse. Much worse.

I wish I had infinite knowledge and the mind to handle the strain.

[Skyrunner]

You now know how to make that worse. Much worse.

I wish I had infinite knowledge and the mind to handle the strain.

Granted, but your body can't handle the strain an tour heart stops.

I wish for one -cat tallow roast-.

[Sirus]

Granted. The crazy cat lady in your area has you arrested for eating her cats.

I wish I had high-speed wireless Internet.

[Skyrunner]

Granted. The crazy cat lady in your area has you arrested for eating her cats.

I wish I had high-speed wireless Internet.

Granted, but to use it you need to pay roughly 400 dollars for a special adapter, and 50 per month for access, AND whatever your internet rate was!


I wish that crAzy cat lady became a dog fan :3

[Sirus]

She becomes crazy dog lady, and sics her armies of hounds on whoever looks at her funny.

I wish I could make a big-budget film of anything I wanted.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, but you make it during the worst economic crisis the world has ever seen so "big budget" is three dollars

I wish I had the Pacific Theater version of Axis and Allies

[Azthor]

Granted, but... "Rundll32.exe is missing or corrupt".

I wish for a perfect loaf of bread, under the following notion of perfection: tasty, bearer of healthy nutritional values by my standards, devoid of toxins, unable to cause indigestion, intact until devoured, able to force the universe into not disrupting its consumption, devoid of any life form, 128cm³ weighing exactly 20g, non-radioactive, inert with null velocity in relation to me and incapable of being eaten the wrong way or  by any other than me, while also always being reachable by my individual being; Its would be consumer is invulnerable and undispaceable for as long as the loaf remans uneaten, and consuming it grants the same attributes... Last, yet most important, whatever brought it into existance cannot be corrupted; existance, non-existance and anything within them are not subject to interpretations other than these of the wisher.

Good Luck, it can be done.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted but everyone and everything except the laws of physics perfectly ignore you, so while you do exist it doesn't matter that you do.

I wish for a brick.

[SirAaronIII]

The spinning brick hits the Phantom of The Library in the head, fracturing the skull and jamming the skull through the brain!
Phantom of The Library has been struck down.

I wish I could accurately recreate DF combat logs.

[Flying Dice]

Granted. You are now doomed to type entirely in non-black text.



I wish I had more time to read.

[SirAaronIII]

You have more time to read... IN HELL! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I wish I could go back to typing in black text.

[Skyrunner]

Granted, but now you can never hope of recreating accurate DF combat logs.

I wish for an inert lump of plutonium!!

[Azthor]

Granted but everyone and everything except the laws of physics perfectly ignore you, so while you do exist it doesn't matter that you do.

I wish for a brick.

Hold on... How does that corrupt my wish for a loaf of bread?

Granted, but it suffers spontaneus compression and explodes, taking you out.

I wish for the reply button to turn into a link to lemonparty.