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[Skyrunner]

You now have green hair ... that also double as snakes that try to bite you.

I wish for a decent speaker system.

[Azthor]

You've gained a mighty decent speaker system... By prehistoric standards, rejoice!

I wish for Azathoth to awaken.

[fergus]

Azathoth is not bound by your petty wishes.

I wish for a lovecraftian story.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, but you're trapped inside of it.

I wish that so much stuff wouldn't get caught in my Otterbox's speaker opening

[Skyrunner]

Granted, but you're trapped inside of it.

I wish that so much stuff wouldn't get caught in my Otterbox's speaker opening

Granted, but now there isn't anything to be caught (ie = the universe as we know it is GONE!)

I wish for a more alive forums!

[Phantom of The Library]

I wish for a more alive forums!

Granted but now it's literally and comes out of your computer, consuming you then the rest of the world as it has been taught to do.

I wish that I had put more sugar into my tea.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted.

You took Death's cache of Aspartame and dumped most of it into your tea. Little did you know that Death's Aspartame is a little bit too extreme... on the poison.

You fall face first into the ground, never to breathe again.

I wish for a Multistacked Shotmachineminigun.

[Skyrunner]

Granted.

You took Death's cache of Aspartame and dumped most of it into your tea. Little did you know that Death's Aspartame is a little bit too extreme... on the poison.

You fall face first into the ground, never to breathe again.

I wish for a Multistacked Shotmachineminigun.

You get that multistacked Shotmachineminigun, but it has a level restriction of 1337.

I wish for a HAPPY  NEW YEAR!

[SirFellfire]

Granted. To do so for Jimmy Wales you're bound to donate to Wikipedia for him to buy beautiful things for his ladyfriends AND read ANY AND ALL of the next rants he chooses to write.

I wish the beak dogs that just made me reclaim just after setting a farm were killed by some awesome, vigilante animalman who then became friendly.

[Araph]

Granted, but they certainly didn't become friendly to you. Your reclaim crew is slaughtered mercilessly when you try to settle there again.

I wish the graphics card I ordered would arrive already.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, but it's actually an evil robot brain that will take over your computer and enslave all of mankind.

I wish that that I would actually get around to finishing my collection of Lovecraft's works.

[Svarte Troner]

Granted, but in the process you summon Yog Sothoth, who proceeds to devour you.

I wish I lived in Norway.

[Skyrunner]

Granted, but in the process you summon Yog Sothoth, who proceeds to devour you.

I wish I lived in Norway.

You live there, but don't have any visa/other legal papers to give permission.

I wish I was an absolute being.

[Araph]

You become an absolute being. However, you failed to specify what your being absolutely is, so you wind up being absolutely sand. Your particles sink into a heap on the ground, and the wind blows away what was once your intestines.

I wish I had Skyrim.

[Sirus]

You get Skyrim, but the game is bugged so that everyone constantly makes arrow-to-the-knee jokes.

I wish I had an old-fashioned cannon.