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[Sirus]

Granted. You transform into a rock to test your power. Unfortunately, the literal genie that grants your wish made it so that while you could transform whenever you want, into whatever you want, you're stuck in that new form forever and always.

[Trapezohedron]

I wish the above poster wished for something.

[Time Blossom]

Granted, but it was something really boring.

I wish Skyrim would get a big holiday discount on Steam.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted, but you and your family is currently out of credit, so there's practically no effect.

I wish I had epic piano skillz

[Sirus]

Granted, but all you can play is Nyan Cat.

I wish I remembered to make a wish before I had a big bucket of movie theater popcorn right now.

[Loud Whispers]

Molotov.

Popcorn.

Inyoface.

I wish for world peace.
AND LOTSA LOTSA WEPONZ IN SPHESS.

[Phantom of The Library]

I wish for world peace.
AND LOTSA LOTSA WEPONZ IN SPHESS.

Granted, but someone accidentally activate your WEPONZ IN SPHESS and now the world is in pieces.

I wish the Eoin Colfer sequel of Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy had never happened.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. Instead, you get the idea, and opportunity to make that film, and everyone bashes you and hates you for it.

The above ensures the existence of the film; it cannot be removed from the threads of time.

I wish I was able to warp instantly.

[Skyrunner]

Granted. Instead, you get the idea, and opportunity to make that film, and everyone bashes you and hates you for it.

The above ensures the existence of the film; it cannot be removed from the threads of time.

I wish I was able to warp instantly.

You are able to warp, but in the "to deform" meaning.


I wish trig was easy

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, but now the universe doesn't work,

I wish I had an Epic Trenchcoat.

[FuzzyZergling]

I wish trig was easy

Granted. Since it's easy, they teach it earlier and faster, and move harder math down to fill the void.

EDIT:

I wish I had an Epic Trenchcoat.

Granted, but it doesn't fit you properly.

I wish I was a Villain Sue.

[Sirus]

Granted. A Mary Sue comes along to defeat you.

I wish I could play all MMOs for free (even the ones that you normally pay for).

[fergus]

Granted! All MMO's are now Allegedly Free Games.

I wish I knew how the wishes were granted.

[Phantom of The Library]

Spoiler: rats (click to show/hide)

I wish I was a Villain Sue.

Granted, but Marty Wesley Stu has become infatuated with you and you cannot get rid of him due to his being a
favorite of the creator being prophesied to one be immortal and perfectly moral for all eternity, and he keeps ruining all your plans.

I wish I knew how the wishes were granted.

Granted, but the knowledge drives you insane and you drown yourself in banana pudding.

I wish I had all of Abney Park's CDs

[Sirus]

Granted, but the government mandates switching to a new format and CD players are confiscated.

I wish I had a big frosty glass of root beer in front of me.