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[Kestrel_6]

Granted, however you are quickly turned Into an Apple grenade, the same as the top of this page. Someone tries to eat you, and you explode (kinda like cannibal Creepers)

I wish that the person knows what Dschinghis Khan is.

[Loud Whispers]

the person does indeed know.

But I am not the person.

Perhaps I will be, in the future.

But the future is gone.

So we live in the present.

And the present is invalid.

So we must venture into the past.

And screw up the future.

And thus quantum physics makes sense.

And I like cake.

I wish,

I WISH.

No.

I WISH FOR EUUBLEEUGH.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You get a Missingno.

You simply get wiped out from existence.

I wish bullets were slow.

[Peewee]

Speed is relative, and it's so much easier to just make you much, much faster than typical bullets.
You are launched straight up at sunset, and you leave the atmosphere at ~35 km/s.
Unfortunately, this means you are likely to hit the sun.

I wish for fish.

[Loud Whispers]

Somewhere, a town has been destroyed by raining fish.

Congratz.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish I could turn into a jet and eat bread at the same time.
Should probably add that I could turn back into my normal demented self, but hey, being a crazy forum surfing jet is cool.

LIKE A BOSS.

[Necro910]

Somewhere, a town has been destroyed by raining fish.

Congratz.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish I could turn into a jet and eat bread at the same time.
Should probably add that I could turn back into my normal demented self, but hey, being a crazy forum surfing jet is cool.

LIKE A BOSS.

Granted, you are a rock that eats bread. Unfortunately you cannot move due to being a rock, so you die from lack of water. If you do get water, it erodes you.

I wish I had mind control.

[Devling]

Granted. Unfortanatly, the mental strain on all beings on earth causes them to die, and you get hit by a car because the driver died... while he was driving.

I WISH THIS THREAD WOULD STOP.

[Sirus]

Granted. HAMMERTIME!

I wish I had the complete The Stand graphic novel series.

[Azthor]

Granted. Unfortanatly, the mental strain on all beings on earth causes them to die, and you get hit by a car because the driver died... while he was driving.

I WISH THIS THREAD WOULD STOP.

Granted, only it was never specified when it'd stop. The thread ends, yet you have long since been rejoined with the landscape.

I wish for a wand of wishing.

[Kestrel_6]

Granted, however you need a Grand Soul Gem to recharge it. Good Luck.

I Wish that G11 rifles didn't cook-off rounds.

[Sirus]

Granted. Instead, they simply don't fire.

I wish I wouldn't get skipped 

[Kestrel_6]

Grabted, you get runned

I Wish that Dwemer are real

[Azthor]

Grabted, you get runned

I Wish that Dwemer are real

Granted, they are real... In the Elder Scrolls verse.

I wish for a filled Grand Soul Gem which doesn't contain my own.

[Kestrel_6]

Granted, if you do the Morrowind Azura's Quest, and kill Almalexia One-on-One. Good Luck

I wish that Dragon shouts were real (What a way to inspire plebs in the cadets.)

[Devling]

Unfortanatly, every time you shout, you not only kill everyone in front of you, but are blown back, not being to stable on your feet.
Or, dragon shouts exist, but nobody can consume dragon souls to use them.

I wish for infinte wishes.