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[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Your jokes are funny. They all concern horrific tragedies, and the entire world winds up hating you.

I wish that I was on a good sleep schedule for a diurnal person in my timezone.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted. You are now far outside your timezone.

I wish I knew what the hell I'm doing.

[Strife26]

Granted. You're cruising for a bruising.



I wish that the foot fungus on my toe didn't ooze blood.

[Rose]

Granted. if pours it, like a hose.

I wish I didn't have to work.

[GamerKnight]

Granted. Now the government harvests your bodily fluids in horrific, invasive ways.

I wish I was Cthulhu.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Granted. You're now Cthulhu. Unfortunately, being unaware of your awesomeness and how to control your new form, you kill everyone ever. Then, you wake up the real Cthulhu and he murders you.

I wish 7up became Ginger ale.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. 7up is now called ginger ale.

I wish that I had had a better day.

[Bdthemag]

Granted, but you die the next morning.

I wish the zombie apocalypse would happen already.

[Shootandrun]

Granted. You become a zombie and eat your family.

I wish The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim was already released.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It is released as is, and is horribly buggy and unfinished.

I wish that the weather in my area was less gloomy.

[lemon10]

Granted. It never rains again and the temperature goes up 35 degrees Celsius globally, you die of heat exhaustion and the rest of the world starves as all the crops wither and die.

I wish i was three hundred feet tall.

[Criptfeind]

Granted. You are now about 50 times taller and you weigh about 2500 time more thanks to the Square-cube law. Your bones snap under their own weight and you suffocate on your own blood.

I wish for world peace.

[breadbocks]

Granted. It falls to pieces instantly.

I wish people would stop answering wishes with something like "Granted. X is now called Y".

[Bdthemag]

Granted, but X is now called Y.

I wish time travel was possible.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It is. However, it requires traveling at almost the speed of light, and you can only go into the future.

I wish that every wish corruption on this thread was brilliant and ingenious.