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[Cthulhu]

Granted, it grows at ten inches per second, and never stops.

I wish people would stop posting myspace chain letters on bulletins.

[Styrre]

Hah! I've got no problem with that! The excess hair is sold for wigs!
... ehm.

Granted. They now post all chain letters exclusively on the DF forums.

I wish for an easy and quick way to understand and learn all the engineering I need for my exam tomorrow. Bilingual.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You are approached by a weird guy who claims to be able to show you how far down the rabbit hole goes. You take the red pill, planning to jack back in later to download Engineering. You wake up six days later in a Mexican hospital missing your kidneys or something.

I wish you liked your gentleman's vegetables.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but I forgot what I was going to say so you get hit by a meteor just because I needed something nasty to do.

I wish that this curse was remove from my frying pan I'm seriously ravenous now.
I could eat a rat kebab without ketchup.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, but your frying pan gained a semi-large hole in the bottom in the process of the curse removal.


I really wish that DF adventure mode could do more soon.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but it is so immersive that once you start playing, you never stop and you drop dead from thirst 3 days later.

I really, really wish my frying pan didn't have a hole in it.
I'm seriously ravenous now.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Your frying pan is uncursed and whole. But it turns into a raven and flies away. Your flying pan left you ravenous.

I wish more people could talk good.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but they talk in such an academic and perfect form of English that soon...
Oh hell, I just pop up and eat you raw. I'm REALLY HUNGRY.

I WISH MY FRYING PAN WOULD COME BACK ONCE AND FOR ALL. GRANT IT OR I'LL EAT YOUR HEARTS.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Your flying pan returns. But it's so sad to be in captivity that it's always crying, which cools it enough that it puts out your oven. Even if it's electric.

I wish for a +1 chicken.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but I steal it because I'm so hungry.
I wish my frying pan wasn't an emo.

[Nilocy]

Granted. Its not an emo its now just a, socially maladjusted creepy face man with no prospect of doing anything worthwhile in his life apart from die, pan.

I wish I had amazing abilities to never come up with anything original.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted.
You never come up with anything original. Or anything at all.
You become a being of pure order and dullness, like a swiss banker.

I wish my frying pan wasn't a creepy guy.
In fact, I wish it was just a frying pan, free of any curse or carbonite casing.
I just want my breakfast.

[Rooster]

It turns into a cute chicken named frying pan and has fever (39.9 degrees)...
too bad it was my older brother turned into a chicken by Jezus (man I hate him).
You eat him "raw" ,because you are SO hungry, and I murder your new wife, your family, and in the end you for eating my brother.... and then I go to jail.

I wish my brother was alive and could get me out of prison

(Hmmm... a male chicken and a chicken eater on one forum ... interesting indeed)
 

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You realize your frying pan is awesome and perfect. You fire up your oven and begin cooking. Everything flows effortlessly, spices thrown with flair and panache. You're cooking in a way nobody has ever done, and it's as if you're surrounded by a golden aura. Birds sing outside. It's the best meal you've ever made. The best thing you've ever done.
You sit at the table, a beautiful plate arranged before you. On the side, a silk napkin with a silver knife and fork. You glance up, and through the window a sunbeam filters through acacia leaves and warms your soul. A tear wells up at the corner of your eye.
And you drop dead, suddenly overcome by starvation.

I wish Maggarg would have snacked on something while trying to catch his pan.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Rooster's post officially does not exist.