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[Asheron]

Granted, your frying pan is encased in obsidian.

I wish I owned the internetz.

[DreaDFanG]

Granted, but it crashes and never comes back up...

I wish for lots of carp on my unit list...

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted (says the genie, misreading your wish). Your map is now completely covered in crap. Plus I'll throw in a few skeletal craps as well.

I wish for a second wish.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, but you have to wait for your next turn.

I wish for an army of tiny carp.

[Nilocy]

Granted, there was acctually a mix up with the UPS delivery, and they sent you some large carp. They eat you and all your peoples.

I wish upon an extremely cool star of body heat temperature that somehow manages to keep its plasmolic state in balance without causing it to go supernova that won't burn my face when it comes to tell it to me personally/impersonally/by email/snailmail/television/telephone/or any other method of known, sciencefiction derived, imagination or published work.

[Cthulhu]

Tell what to you?  I think in your attempt to make an incomprehensible wish you accidentally left something out.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Translation:

I wish that (a star with a temperature safe for me) would tell me (in a way safe for me).

I think he did leave some important part out of this wish ... if only I could figure out what it was ...

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

The Star grants your wish, and you walk out of the door, happy as Larry, and get hit by a bus and die from a brain hemorrhage.

I wish my new frying pan wasn't encased in anything at all.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,your wife(if you don't have one,you do now!) uses it to beat the bloody pulp out of the neighborhood.

EDIT:my my the lack of wishes is rubbing off on me...

I wish for a Panda death robot!!!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but the robot is as lazy and impotent as a real panda, and just sits around eating metal bamboo.

I wish my new frying pan wasn't covered in blood and brains. Or quite so dented.

[Nilocy]

Granted. The frying is actually covered in the blood of Aliens. It melts away, causing your floor to melt and eventually collapse, with you along with it.

I wish that someone hadn't invented the nuclear bomb.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but they invented the Low Orbit Ion Cannon instead.

I wish I had another new frying pan, I'm getting really hungry and this alien blood isn't helping.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You have a fine new frying pan, and it's everything you dreamt. You take it home, only to find that somehow it's metallic composition prevents it from heating. And it is cursed to give you a -4 to cook chicken. You cannot be rid of the pan, and it returns to your hand immediately anytime you try to cook.

No use testing it out first in a practice cooking session, either. The curse activates only after you begin to cook in earnest.

I wish for a tiny perfect portal to the realm of nightmares, that opens and closes super fast constantly. That way Cthulhu would be always trying to reach through and get to our world, even though it would be impossible. But we would have a continuous supply of free calamari. I would open a restaurant called "Sushi Madness" where we guarantee a lively dinner!

[Cthulhu]

Granted, but when it opens I toss a bit of shoggoth matter out, and it lands on your shirt.

I wish brooms.

[Styrre]

Granted. One week later, angry broomless witches turn you into a frog.

I wish that my beard would grow faster.