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[lemon10]

Granted, you are so excited you die of a heart attack.

I wish California succeed from the United States.

[Darvi]

Granted. But now no amount of brain bleach can save your sanity.

Bluh, ninjas.
Granted. Your next day will be one hell of an adventure. And the plot twist is, you die at the end.

Fuck you ninjas!

I wish for more sweets!

[Peewee]

Granted. You now live a cursed life, unable to sleep for all the excitement happening around you.
Granted. You are killed in the ensuing violence.
Granted. You are buried in an ocean of sugar.

I wish for fish.

[Darvi]

I summon bigger fish.

I wish for more fun.

[Zrk2]

No. 'Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish, and he eats for life.'

I wish these doofusses knew how to fish.

[Darvi]

Too late. The bigger fish squashed them.

I wish for a better internet connection.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You have to sell your computer to pay for it.

I wish that all weather was awesome.

[Acanthus117]

Granted. Now every weather event is a world-shatteringly awesome storm, chock full of guys riding on flying horses, exploding cars, moar dakka, and awesome faces.

We all die from awesome overdose.

I wish that I didn't have a cold.

[lemon10]

Granted. You have the plague instead.

I wish that i had a billion dollars.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It is given in genuine three dollar bills from the year 2411. Due to the fact that they are neon purple and depict the 71st president of the United States, no one will accept them.

I wish that mankind was exterminated by nature.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but women are still around, and a bunch of them are pregnant with male babies. Humans recover within a few dozen generations.

I wish the computer lab at our campus had more computers in the lab.

[Vorthon]

Granted, but women are still around, and a bunch of them are pregnant with male babies. Humans recover within a few dozen generations.

I wish the computer lab at our campus had more computers in the lab.

Granted. It has five billion more. The building housing the lab 'asplodes because of the number of computers.

I wish that the above person's avatar was even more adorable.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. However, you are now a machine, and incapable of appreciating the avatar's adorableness.

I wish that I lived a perfect life.

[jetex1911]

Granted. Your life is perfect, no problems, no worries. you go bored soon, but with nothing to ruin or challenge your life, you live on to be a Buzz Killington, forever bored with no flavor in your life. there can be no worse fate like yours.

I wish Yoshis were real.

[Angel Of Death]

Granted. Yoshi's are now real, but they are 500 feet tall, spew out magma and have a pationate hate for human life. Especially Tarn Adams.

I wish to MAKE THEM SUUUUFFFEEEER!