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[dwarfguy2]

Granted, it's full of needles, napalm, and lethal viruses. Also, the entire thing is on fire.

I wish that Meta Knight existed.

[Darvi]

Granted. But it's the "There will be Brawl" metaknight so... sweet dreams.

I wish I were immune to fire :x

[RedWarrior0]

Granted. You are actually now completely suppressant to all combustion. This is good, until you realize C₆H₁₂O₆ + 6 O₂ --> 6 CO₂ + 6H₂O is a combustion reaction.

I wish for ascension in Nethack

[Peewee]

Granted, but Death follows you.

I wish for a cute, cuddly Boston Terrier.

[dwarfguy2]

Granted. It adorably mauls you to death.

I wish that Cthulu was willingly my servant.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You are driven insane by his presence.

I wish that I had ESP.

[Darvi]

Granted. You have eternally sucky pseudopodes instead of legs.

I wish for some fresh air.

[dwarfguy2]

Granted. Fresh, and poisoned.

I wish for my sanity back.

[Darvi]

Granted. Cthulhu follows.

I wish my tinnitus were gone.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Your eardrums are shattered by a 400 decibel wave of sound.

I wish that I was at peace.

[Darvi]

Granted. R.I.P.

I wish for a weapon that could destroy everything. (THE DESTRUCTION. OF REALITY. ITSELF!!!)

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It requires a trillion trillion trillion yottawatts of power per gram to destroy mass.

I wish that I had infinite memory.

[Darvi]

Granted. It's also immune to brain bleach.

*Insert coin to wish*
Oh goddammit.

[Tellemurius]

Granted, God damns the machine which now asks for sacrifices of your first born for a wish.


.... i want a super cool bike

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You are now filled with a desperate longing for a super cool bike, which eventually drives you to madness.

I wish that the wish corruptions here would be more imaginative.