Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[vadia]

Granted! Oh wait the emergency pants activate due to being spontaniously manifested!
As you look through the instruction manual you find out its entirely in Swiss japanese korean!
The pants go on a Rampage Humping every thing in its path while locomoting in the silliest way possible!

Is that your wish? The pants get pepper sprayed. Now they are stained.

I wish that you would make me a sammich!

SaintDraize shrugs and takes you to the butcher shop and after 3 hours of prep; you are made into sammich.  nobody eats you though

I wish the Zrk2 sammich would go to good use and I'm not ouching it with a ten foot laser pole.

[Taco Dan]

You're not touching it with a 10 foot laser pole, you're touching it with the inside of your stomach. Cannibal.


I wish.

[Vorthon]

You're not touching it with a 10 foot laser pole, you're touching it with the inside of your stomach. Cannibal.


I wish.

ERROR! Wish has insufficient parameters! Reality submatrix #4243213-A Damaged! System shutting down.

Way to go, genius. Reality's broken. Again.

I wish for an infinite-regression pistol (a pistol that shoots a pistol that shoots a pistol ad infinitum)

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You break reality even further due to the impossibility of subatomic pistols.


I wish that reality would get even more broken.

[Darvi]

Granted. It gets so broken it doesn't even bother to break anymore.

I wish that I wouldn't need to sleep now.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You do not need to sleep right now. You otherwise retain you original sleep schedule.


I wish that I was all-powerful and could grant myself wishes.

[Darvi]

Well that wasn't really corrupted, was it?

Granted, but doing so also nets yourself also a fate worse than death that you can't wish yourself out from.

I wish for everybody on earth to be happy

[vadia]

paranoia (steve jackson games) You're happy now citizen, right?

I wish I didn't need this upcoming sugery

[Zrk2]

You have died of dysentery. No surgery needed.

I wish it's not serious so I do not get 'Asshole of the Month.'

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It wasn't, but he actually did have a life-threatening condition unrelated to the surgery, and died while reading you post just before he got to the second line.


I wish that open-source linux that does not require intensive use of the command line was the dominant OS.

[Zrk2]

It is. Deal with it, it can't live up to your expectations.

I wish that I were ruler of the world. (For the lolz).

[Darvi]

Granted. You are used to measure the size of the sun and burn to atomic dust.

I wish that GRR Martin is done with writing his next book.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. A freak accident kills him and destroys all copies of the book before it can be published.


I wish that DF was finished.

[Zrk2]

Granted. A freak accident kills him and destroys all copies of the book before it can be published.


I wish that DF was finished.

You bastard. I will kill you. Although Robert Jordan's death didn't kill WoT...

It's finished. But for some obscure coding reason, it must be called Elf Forest Retreat.

I wish that GRRM would finish A Song of Ice and Fire and have it published and mass distributed.

[Blackdutchie]

Granted, it brainwashes everyone into worshiping a puppet, welcome to your new life of slave-i-tude!
This is incredible serious business.

I wish i could Teleport wherever i wanted!