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[Medicine Man]

You can comunicate with animals,too bad you get into an argument with a rattlesnake and die.

I wish for maggots to decend from the sky.

[Doomshifter]

Granted. They descend from the sky only onto you. No one else can see them and you get hauled off to the looney bin after you are seen in public 'trying to get the maggots off'.

I wish my internet connection was faster.

[Medicine Man]

Granted your internet is now faster,as a matter of fact the fastest conection in the world,your bill comes to 4000000000000000000000000000000000000000000$ an hour!please have a nice dept!

I wish for Avenged 7 Fold fans to be thrown into magma.

[Doomshifter]

Granted your internet is now faster,as a matter of fact the fastest conection in the world,your bill comes to 4000000000000000000000000000000000000000000$ an hour!please have a nice dept!

I wish for Avenged 7 Fold fans to be thrown into magma.

Granted, Doomshifter falls in the magma and returns as an invincible magma-juggernaut, bent on destroying you.

I wish I could pay off my $4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 debt.

[Medicine Man]

Granted,you pay off your debt through Dwarf Mc Dwarf loans,please enjoy your 9000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000$ dept!
P.S that is more than all of the money in the world,better start robbing places fast!

I wish for Doomshifter to get the money to pay of this dept.

[Tarran]

Granted, you pay him. Now you're in debt by that much money.

I wish to axe you a question.

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. The police are baffled by the carefully engraved battleaxe embedded in Dwarf Mcdwaf's skull. You barely escape, but fail to form an independent 4-man pmc, because "you can't know of them unless you already do" is not a good business model.

I wish that peter would just shoot the gorram wolf.

[Medicine Man]

Granted,you change your name to Gorram Wolf and you get shot by an insane man named Peter

I wish for metal (the music) to be good again.

[Doomshifter]

Granted. Metal, the musical, is an absolute hit. Broadway goes mad over it. 90% of metal-fans become gay people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. :3

I wish Dwarf mc dwarf would learn how to spell 'debt'.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. He uses his knowledge of literature to piss you off by giving everyone a debt. Everyone throws a simultaneous tantrum.

I wish most people on /i/ wouldnt be jerks.

[Karnewarrior]

Wish granted. They're douchebags instead.

I wish that I could summon Ender Wiggin at will.

[dragnar]

Granted. Ender beats you up for distracting him from his training.

I wish I could summon Bean(from Ender's Game) at will.

[Medicine Man]

Granted. Ender beats you up for distracting him from his training.

I wish I could summon Bean(from Ender's Game) at will.

Granted,you summon a bean from a universe known as Ender's Game

I wish for dept (not debt)

[James.Denholm]

Granted. The Department of Personal Fiscal Security appears on your lawn. They inform you that you are in debt.

I wish that I had a aviation-helmet-like device that allowed the wearer to see and create rifts in space-time.

[Doomshifter]

Granted. Unfortunately, the only rift you can see is of an old, fat man's butt-crack. You can create one, but you'd need a lot more pizza to achieve such a rift of your own.

I wish to see a cowboy fight a ninja.