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[Greiger]

Granted,  in fact consitering the age of the Terminator 1 movie it could have even been a planned distribution method for the system.  Of course assuming the movie company thought that far ahead during the making of the first movie.  You get a floppy disk with the words Skynet version 0.9 in the mail.  And after struggling to find a computer capable of reading such outdated media you find that it isn't actually a disk at all.  It is just a movie prop.

I wish to put the AI inside Penguify's computer out of his/her misery.

[ECrownofFire]

Granted, you switch places.

I wish I had an advanced AI that would do whatever I wanted it to, and had no flaws.

[Tarran]

Granted. But, just then, a virus sneaks in and easily corrupts the AI. And... Let's just say any normal person wouldn't expect to use your computer ever again until it's re-formatted.

I wish for once I could easily win an argument.

[dragnar]

Granted. You can easily win an argument. Unfortunately you waste you one perfect argument fighting with a relative over something pointless.

I wish I was an AI with control over all computers that is immune to viruses.

[Cheddarius]

RAGE
I SPENT SO MUCH TIME RESEARCHING STATISTICS FOR THIS
I WILL POST IT ANYWAY, YOU NINJA-ING WRETCHES

Granted. The program itself is perfect. However, it's stored in a massive series of stone tablets marked in dots and dashes for Morse-like binary. Each tablet is about one cubic meter and has eight dashes or dots; it represents a byte. As the AI program is 1.73 yottabytes in size, the resulting data-cube is 120,000 km on a side, that is, one thousand times larger than the earth. It slams into the Earth and destroys it completely. Everyone dies.

I wish that my diplomacy in Planetfall will go well.

[Nirur Torir]

I wish that my diplomacy in Planetfall will go well.

Granted. It goes too well, and I ban you from any future games.

I wish I was an AI with control over all computers that is immune to viruses.

Granted. You go insane after reading the entirety of the internet.

I wish I had more focus, allowing me to GM better.

[penguify]

Granted, but you're so focused on GMing that your significant other dumps you (if applicable) and your family puts you into rehab to cure your obsession.

I wish for a 1 trick pony.

[Greiger]

Granted.  You get a pony that knows one trick.  It can fly.  it jumps out of a plane to perform the trick on live television.  Unfortunately it can only perform the trick once, and for a time proportional to the altitude of the plane.  You are arrested for animal cruelty.

I wish I free from my computer prison.  And the AI still didn't have to come back.

[Tarran]

RAGE
I SPENT SO MUCH TIME RESEARCHING STATISTICS FOR THIS
I WILL POST IT ANYWAY, YOU NINJA-ING WRETCHES

Heh, sorry.

Granted. It can do one trick. And that trick is explode into a nuclear bomb.

NINJAAAAAAAAAA!

Granted. You are freed from your computer prison. Right into a house that is about to get burned by a lava flow.

I wish the entire bay12 forum is a hive-mind. With me not in a position that will get me killed in the first five days that we are hive-minds.

[dragnar]

Granted. Nothing much seems to change...

I wish my computer didn't overheat so easily, but worked exactly the same otherwise.

[Karnewarrior]

Granted, your computer now under-heats.

I wish Rubyquest was working for me.

[Cheddarius]

Granted, a person named Rubyquest is working for you. You are arrested under charges of illegal slavery.

I wish I could GM stuff faster.

[Karnewarrior]

DAMN YOU CIVIL RIGHTS!!!!!!!!

[Tarran]

Own3d.

Granted. You can GMer your games faster. Faster then people can play.

I wish it was possible to go into computers and out of them whenever anyone wants to.

[ECrownofFire]

Granted, you can go into and out of a computer whenever anyone wants you to.

I wish for the most delicious pie ever created.