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[Spelguru]

This one seems rather popular on forums, and after glancing at the pages of history and old topics in the various nonsense I couldn't see one. So I'm making one!

Basically it goes like this. The first poster, which is me, states a wish.
Example: I wish I had a million dollars!
And the next poster corrupts the wish, and then posts a wish of his/her own.
Example: But the million dollars were stolen from a bank and you end up in jail!
I wish I had some pie!

And so on and on. Ready? Let's start corrupting!

I wish I won the top prize at the swedish lottery.

[short_dwarf]

But then you lose your lottery ticket that had won the lottery as the winds blow.

I wish most cakes weren't sponges.

[Marmot Man]

All cakes are now made of marmots. Then the Marmot God kills you for making such an evil wish to have marmots killed.

I wish that a marmot didn't die from each time Spelguru cheats. The count is reaching the millions.

[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: Marmot Man ]

[Spelguru]

Granted. If one marmot dies everytime I cheat, that marmot will no longer die. Instead 10 other marmots will be shuffled off the mortal coil. Muhahahahaha!

I wish... I wish I had bothered to go to the fridge to get a fresh bottle of coke when I was up from the chair. Now I'm stuck here with like 2dl of coke left  

[Marmot Man]

Your wish is granted. But when you reach into your fridge, a rabid marmot jumps out and slowly eats you alive, because you corrupted that last wish so horribly.

I wish that Spelguru can't involve marmots in a corrupted wish.

[Spelguru]

Granted, but the wish that caused 10 marmots to die every time I cheat is now carved into Blessed Adamtine, made indestructable by God himself. ... In other words, that wish will never go away. But atleast you saved the future marmots.

I wish for someone other than me and marmot to wish for a while.

[short_dwarf]

Wish granted but now all the wishes shall be ten times worse.

I wish ice cream was aloud on pie on kentucky.

[ April 12, 2007: Message edited by: short_dwarf ]

[Spelguru]

Ice cream is now allowed on pies from kentucky. Unfortunately Kentucky is nuked by Icecream puritans, not wanting their icecream on pies.

I wish eternal health for my cat.
Me scratching the cat
Sphinx cat!
D'awwwwwwwww!

[short_dwarf]

Wish granted but now your cat has and will scratch you to death for all eternity.

I wish fish didn't smell so bad.

[Rooster]

They smell even worse...
like ommel vomit

I wish ommel would be REAL (and kill people on the streets)

[ April 13, 2007: Message edited by: Rooster ]

[Spelguru]

Hmmm it's hard to be scratched to death for all eternity. I thought you could only die once. Oh well, time to grant the wish!

Your wish has come true, the ommel is real. And it kills people in the street. You first. And then your pet dog.

I wish my cat would remain as loving as she is now (before she got eternal health) and still get the eternal health.

[Armok]

‘Eternal’ is a very strong word, mortal, as you will soon find out.

Intelligence in (some, I think) cats increases with age, although most (all?) cats die of old age before they even learn to speak. Know as well that memory capacity is limited, and not proportional to age. No need to say memories stack with time, as very day you learn something, like what you did that day.

2009; the metabolism of the cat freezes into a loop, science can give no plausible explanation, it seems very healthy.

2134; the cat is intelligent enough to speak fluid English, and does so.

2345; the cat is elected as the president of the moon.

2678; contact with the andromeda galaxy is established, the cat is in charge of the main negotiations.

3000; the Luna empire stretches tree solar systems, and 20% of humanity.

3017; Lord of Luna (the cat) ultimately go nuts due to memory overflow, while studying ‘paradoxis stability in modern temporal engineering’.

3029; Luna empire becomes a totalitarian state, the cat dictator.

3034; Luna empire declares war on its neighbours; political chaos.

3073; the Lunatic (common name, although use is punished by ferotefiation in Luna empire) galaxy arm is fully conquered, great celebrations; not coming to them is punished by ferotefiation.

3256; the Galaxy is fully conquered, more celibrations.

3293; creation of temprocronic propulsion sytems in Luna empire, Instant travel, can arrive in several places at once, duplicated.

3467; the great universa war, the entire force of Luna empire marine arrives in the entire universe at once. Deaths; 976398461394683967516541385491775984589134651493859616516374893654863156834164318965964318659684315345598431694564931865586915613459513956465931564531954919364659135561659596316594   359681986556954989239851897581380796859314591356957832346596381465913576.

3471; the entire universe under Luna empire control, the era of darkness begins.

40623; Lord of Luna is growing bored; kills of entire human race just for fun.

927367164673; meme riot, coriatronic RCJR bomb set of in the royal galaxy, it is completely vaporized, Lord of Luna exrefaliuated from the universe, to suffer the eternal boredom of nothingness (edit: still healthy, obviously).  the era of darkness ends.

927367164754; the universe is finally divided among corrupted officials, half of all mater is exrefaliuated by coriatronic bombs, 99.624 of population exterminated in 10 years.

The end.

I wish you mortals believed in and obeyed in me, all of you.

(Edit: if YOU had to study ‘paradoxis stability in modern temporal engineering’, you to would go nuts)

[ April 13, 2007: Message edited by: Armok ]

[TotalPigeon]

Your wish has come true. Unfortunately, a few people grow disillusioned and you're shortly killed by these heretics, which then prompts the entirety of the faithful human race to commit suicide, resulting in ridiculous amounts of miasma which causes the rest of humanity to go insane and jump into magma.

I wish I had made dwarf fortress so I could bask in the glory and admiration Toady currently receives

[short_dwarf]

Wish granted but your dwarves have then released the big demon from his slumber and committed suicide by jumping down the chasm where they were taken by ratmen as their own. The dwarves then come back out all mutated and face the big demon, killing it then commiting suicide in the magma thinking they will turn into fireimps like they turned into ratdwarves in the chasm. Stupid dwarves.

I wish Armok would finally realize his name isnt making him cool.

[Armok]

I have many names; none of them intended to impress mere mortals. Yin, Satan, Fate, Armageddon, Armok, Darkness, Kali, Death. I am what I am regardless of names. I do not desire to be put in your crude categories. I wish you realised this, mortal.

Edit: my current avatar is of no significance, yet, it may soon follow in the steps of the other ones. The other ones may interest you: Hitler, Cortes, Mao Tse-tung, Nero, Djingis khan.

[ April 14, 2007: Message edited by: Armok ]