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[Diablous]

Granted. You have mad skillz at punching yourself in the face!


I wish I could create blackholes at will.

[dragnar]

Granted, you can change any nearby atom into a black hole at will. Hawking radiation destroys your word before it could ever DO anything though. Your new arch-enemy is Stephen Hawking!

I wish for an invincible time machine with an infinite power supply.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted but the power supply is stolen and the time machine requires too much energy to power otherwise.

I wish I had something to do.

[Rashilul]

Granted, in your boredom, you decide to eat nachos. That's the only thing that amuses you. Eating nachos. Day in and day out for years, eating nachos.


I wish that I did not have little baby arms.

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. You now have no arms.

I wish that the previous wish had been less easy to corrupt.

[Diablous]

Granted. You decide to get rid of your baby arms by biting them off! You no longer have them and then bleed to death.

Ninja'd.

Granted. It's so hard to corrupt, that no one corrupts it and the thread dies.

I wish I can never be ninja'd.

[Terrahex]

Granted, you realize you miss being ninjad.

I wish that I had every videogame and videogame platform ever made

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. You are fired for playing them all day. You run out of food, but don't care because your pirated copy of Barbie's Horse Adventure is just too damn fun. Your body is found weeks later with an NES controller in one hand, and a PS3 controller in the other. Postmortem, you are tried and convicted of several thousand counts of software piracy.

I wish I had a bank account with an infinite amount of legitimately acquired money and that all my remaining time on this earth would be mine to do with as I please.

[Lokii]

Granted, but with all that money you suddenly put in the market, the price of everything inflates, and while you have infinite money, the rest of the world is starving.

I wish I knew another language.

[Diablous]

Granted. But you forget any that you already know.


I wish that I never forget anything.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted, but the amount of things you remember causes your brain to explode.

I wish I could do something other than eating nachos.

[Tarran]

Granted, but the amount of things you remember causes your brain to explode.

I wish I could do something other than eating nachos.

Granted, you now eat butter.

I wish I was more creative...

[cganya]

granted, now you are so creative that no one idea occupies your mind long enough for you to express it any way other than an exasperated scream. You go mad at the pervading thought that you will never be able to fully share any of your ideas.

I wish I had a real office job, not this stupid interview at Walmart tomorrow...

[Greiger]

Granted.  The office job is actually an undercover code name at walmart circles for joining Wal mart's covert international anti-alien taskforce.  You are killed when some freaky headed grey thing with big eyes throws a grenade into your transport 2 seconds after landing.

I wish I knew how to code in a real programming language.  Not just stuff like game maker, Visual logic, and Alice and crap.

[James.Denholm]

Granted. You now know the complete innards of every programming language ever invented. However, after you hack into CERN and take a good look at their source code, you realise that you cannot communicate with them in order to explain how the LHC's code could be eighty-nine percent faster, as you've forgotten all normal, actual languages. Like English, Japanese, and Klingon.

Actually... I wish I knew Klingon.