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[Humaan]

Granted. It has already spread to your legs, which they are not amputating.


I wish I could figure out how to make a proper Shadow creature which I can't seem to figure out in DF.

[Acanthus117]

You do, but I steal it from you because I've been trying to do that as well D:<

I wish that there was an afterlife that was generally positive, yet it did not judge you. You simply were in eternal bliss, and you could peer into other realities and other times, without repercussion.

[cganya]

granted but time in the afterlife moves greatly slower than in the real world. Once dead you can do anything you want with no repercussions but after what feels like four thousand years you have done anything and everything you could conceive. Meanwhile not even one year has passed in the current life. Everyone you ever knew or cared will not join you for several more thousand years of your time. lacking the ability to end the wait yourself through any means you wait and wait and wait until your mortal mind collapses in on itself and you become a drooling, hedonistic pleasure drone for the rest of eternity, never thinking a coherent thought again.

I wish that even more people would take interest in my X-Com LP and fill it with praise and admiration.

[Acanthus117]

It happens, but then the forum crashes from all the people on it. When it comes back up, you realize that the thread is gone and that a giant penguin ate your computer, destroying all your progress.

I wish I had a pan of enchiladas.

[Kelbin]

Granted. But it dissappeared mysteriously. *burp*

I wish for tacos!

[Phantom]

Granted. Several mexican drug dealers poison them though, and the moment you touch one, the poison seeps into your hands, and eventually passes into your whole body. You die.

I wish for a large Xenomorph group attacking me.

[Mishy]

Granted. But it dissappeared mysteriously. *burp*

I wish for tacos!

I can only imagine your wish is of a sexual nature so the attacking party is all male with spiked and barbed manhoods, all ready to dock into your waiting hanger.

I wish for the power of teleportation, exactly in the way i intend it when making this wish.

[Phantom]

Thank you for skipping and ignoring me, jackass.

[Tarran]

Granted. Several mexican drug dealers poison them though, and the moment you touch one, the poison seeps into your hands, and eventually passes into your whole body. You die.

I wish for a large Xenomorph group attacking me.

Granted, they attack you by dancing on your head. Wait, what?

Granted. But it dissappeared mysteriously. *burp*

I wish for tacos!

I can only imagine your wish is of a sexual nature so the attacking party is all male with spiked and barbed manhoods, all ready to dock into your waiting hanger.

I wish for the power of teleportation, exactly in the way i intend it when making this wish.

Granted, you get killed by a ninja five seconds after you gain the ability to teleport.

I wish my laptop's screen wasn't cracked...

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted.
Now it has been stolen by a fanatical group of cultists. The cracked screen was the last part of their ritual. They summon a tech-tentacle demon with hammers for eyes out of the screen. He is not happy with your screen quality. He smashes you.

I wish my little brother would learn not to get so fucking angry all the time.

[Mishy]

Thank you for skipping and ignoring me, jackass.

I didnt. I just quoted the wrong person.

[Kelbin]

Granted.
Now it has been stolen by a fanatical group of cultists. The cracked screen was the last part of their ritual. They summon a tech-tentacle demon with hammers for eyes out of the screen. He is not happy with your screen quality. He smashes you.

I wish my little brother would learn not to get so fucking angry all the time.

Granted, but now you will be angry all the time and end up killing someone and getting [PUNISH_CAPITOL]

I wish to go to the world of dwarf fortress so I can find my avatar and punch him in his face for no raisin, and say hello to the Umans.

[Ultimuh]

Granted but on your  journey to the Umans you are interrupted by !BONZE COLLOSSUS!

I wish I could conjure a forgotten beast at will.
(The wish granter MUST tell the description of the FB in a DF manner.)

[Diablous]

Granted but on your  journey to the Umans you are interrupted by !BONZE COLLOSSUS!

I wish I could conjure a forgotten beast at will.
(The wish granter MUST tell the description of the FB in a DF manner.)

Granted. You conjure the forgotten beast Alu. It is an enormous cat with lidless eyes. It has a pair of knobby antenae and a bloated body. Its green-yellow hair is patchy. Beware it's fire! Alu was associated with water, thralldom and caverns.

The first thing he does is incenerate you.

I wish I was a decent programmer.

[Caesar]

You are a decent programmer, but unfortunately I just invented a time machine and you're sent back to the iron age, without computers to work on.


I wish I've got a time machine that will directly nor indirectly hurt me.