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[Phantom]

I wish all the damned in hell would repent their sins and become absolved.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Now there's absolutely no place to sit down at a concert.

I wish several people on this forum would become happy!

[Cheddarius]

Granted! Several others, including you, become sad.

I wish I could get to sleep without all this noise.

[quinnr]

You fall into a deep deep sleep, which you can only get out of from true loves first kiss, which has already passed.

I wish I had more emoticons.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted

I wish we could add new standard emoticons to the forum!

[derekiv]

Granted >_>
<_<

I wish my English teacher wouldn't assign so many essays(one per section of reading, we read a bout two sections a week)?

[Diablous]

Granted. Now everyone is illiterate.

I wish that I didn't have to get up so early to catch the bus to school.

[lastofthelight]

Granted, now you get up late; at about 3 am.

I wish physicists could get jobs easier!

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, any physicist in the world can easily get a job as a turd-shoveler. If he wants it.

I wish people would stop caring about "celebrities" ... it's really gotten out of hand.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. They now care about your mom. Very much, in fact. Actually, it's gotten kind of annoying. You get all these phone calls asking about her, mail asking you to forward her love letters. Every time you go within a mile of her house, you are hardly able to move for the streets packed with adoring fans and elite gigolo squads parachuting from private planes. It's kind of creepy.

I wish my favorite forum games would update.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. They now care about your mom. Very much, in fact. Actually, it's gotten kind of annoying. You get all these phone calls asking about her, mail asking you to forward her love letters. Every time you go within a mile of her house, you are hardly able to move for the streets packed with adoring fans and elite gigolo squads parachuting from private planes. It's kind of creepy.

I wish my favorite forum games would update.

Granted. They all update with someone just bumping the thread.

I wish Patapon wasnt so hard

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You now win every time you open the game, and it is totally unplayable.

I wish I had less work to do.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. You now do not have to work at all. Unfortunately, the work that you now do not have to do is piling up. Eventually it makes an entire company collapse and each of the employees have a mental breakdown. They find weapons and destroy 3 cities before they are finally put down by aerial bombers.
They hit your house as collateral.

I wish these cups werent so dirty!

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

Granted sadly they are still highly radioactive from the intense cleaning they got.

I wish that I could teleport.

[quinnr]

Granted, you have teleportitis.

I wish for more "Always" by erasure, song is so horrible it's good!