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[Skyrunner]

Granted, but the wish-compiler, in its infinite wisdom, decided to cut out all the offending wishes and your wish was skipped.

I wish my throat wasn't weak.

[Azthor]

Granted, but your overly developed throat easily suffocates you by drasticall reducing the air influx.

I wish for the next poster to become omnipotent.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted and I sentence you to a life of playing 4.0

I wish that I was a master riddler 

[Skyrunner]

Granted, but no-one understands any of your words.

I wish I had moar stamina :3 I feel so spent after three hours of talking.

[The Fool]

Granted. Your stamina bar is now full. It still runs out just as quick.

I wish I lived in an MMORPG.

[SirAaronIII]

You do! You're also one of the mooks people kill for EXP. Hey look an adventurer oh man he has a sword whoops you're dead.

At least he leveled up.

I wish I could find more magma pipes in the first cavern layer.

[fergus]

Granted! In fact, it extends above the ground, and you melt.

I wish for cotton candy.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You get a a large-tipped cotton swab. Of course it's unsweetened.

You frown.

I wish for a cookie.

[Kestrel_6]

Granted. It's the Cookie of Lorkhan. The power is overwhelming, and Dagoth Ur hunts you down.

I wish for a HD remake of Morrowind.

[Azthor]

Granted, but it was hunted down by deranged modders claiming copyrights before you could download it. (The truth though is that Bethesda has the rights over anything made using TES, including mods).

I wish for Phantom of the Library to be teleported into Sigil, dimensionally anchored and worshipped by the Dabus.

[SirFellfire]

granted, but the Lady tracks you as the original source of the wish, and deals with your sorry, sorry ass.

i wish df trees bore sweet, juicy fruit 

[Kestrel_6]

They are. However, because this is DF, they have a pH of -10 and Fun ensues.

I wish for a TES MMO with all Tamriel

[Azthor]

Granted, but it will have outdated graphics and endless expansions, one more boring than the other. Not withstanding, character after character, lore upon lore, all will be sacrificed solely so that the players may get progressively more colorful gear.

I wish for the Lady to be captured by the Dark Powers of Ravenloft.

[SirFellfire]

lol to capture an quintaessentially, cosmically "captured" being!

i'll left this one to be handled by the next poster

[Kestrel_6]

I was about to say that granted, but the Intergalactic SAS stop you.

I don't know what you mean, so you get corrupted by Ravenloft, an participate in the assault. Have fun against the SAS.

I wish for A Mass Effect Hahne-Kedar Kessler I