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[Sean Mirrsen]

Granted. You're a hippy in the said RPG.

I wish for Elite IV.

[McDoomhammer]

Granted.

Unfortunately, since development had to be rushed so much to get it out three seconds ago, the concept has been changed a bit, and it's now called L33t 4.

I wish for a fluffy wambler.

[Nilocy]

Granted. But since you detest fluffy wamblers, you go and murder all their kind.

I wish i didn't have to go to summer school and do exams next week

[mutant mell]

Granted.  But while you don't have to go, you will still fail all of your exams if you don't.  Free will's a bitch.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener
That is what I'd truly like to be
Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener
Everyone would be in love with me

[Kashyyk]

Granted you become an 'Oscar mayor Wiener', but are arrested and thrown in jail because of your bad poetry.

I wish I had a jalapeno chilli

[Sean Mirrsen]

Granted. You had a jalapeno chili. Which is disturbing, because you happen to need it, to throw into the maw of an omnivorous all-devouring beast that you know is allergic to hot foods, that quickly approaches you. Since you don't have one, your fate is quite the gruesome one.

I wish Earth had two moons.

[Reasonableman]

Granted, but since the single moon keeps Earth's axis tilted, allowing for the seasons and various other forms of climate balancing behavior, two moons would either destabilize it and revert it to a perfect 90 degree angle, making the equatorial region a lifeless, barren wasteland devoid of water, and the polar regions frozen wastes of dry ice; or it would give the Earth an even greater tilt and cause weather patterns to become nigh unpredictable and Day After Tomorrow-esque.

I wish for exactly fourteen and one quarter liters of any carbonated drink.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, you get exactly 14.5 liters of carbonated kitten blood.

I wish for pizza.

[Asheron]

Granted. You get a pepperoni pizza with slices of elf buttocks, dwarven ears and beakdog beaks.

I wish for pig tail trousers.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, they contain my pizza.

I wish for a ‼wall of text‼

[Dragooble]

granted but its so big it breaks the internet and since its on fire it spreads to every square inch of earth and sets everything on fire but people still go about their merry way oblivious to the pain until they die

i wish for spore to come out

[Reasonableman]

It does, but the blasted Maxis servers can't handle the strain and they explode, killing Will Wright and ruining any chance at expansions or a sequel.

Seriously, the Spore website is down. What the skeletal elk is going on?

I wish for exactly eleven cents.

[Cthulhu]

For a second I read that wrong.  I'll leave you to figure out how.

Granted, but you lose them between your car-seat and the door.

I wish STALKER were more like Roadside Picnic, where you have to be constantly on the alert for anything that looks odd, or you're all different kinds of dead.

[DreaDFanG]

Granted but you dont have it /lose your copy.

I wish for elven cents!

[Strife26]

Granted, but you are shortly thrown into jail for canibilism.

I wish that DF elves were renamed Liberals.